I am totally not in a great shape. Before that, allow me to apologize for filling up this blog with negativity. By all means, I am not a negative person but the things that are happening to me lately is really forcing me to think twice, filling myself up with negative emotions.

How can life get any worse than this? I have never felt so down until now. To feel so pushed aside, it was as if I am just someone ordinary or perhaps I am just another random guy. Come on, you don't have to do that right? I am not gonna mention it here but I am sure a few of my friends would know what I am referring to. Anyway, the counting ends. It is 3 weeks and 5 days. To some, it may be a short time period but I can assure you, it felt as if it was my longest month...

As if I don't have enough problem to deal with, I gotta face my WORST exam results by far. I was expecting my results to be a whole lot better but reality just struck me and proves to me that as always, I am just a dreamer. Being one of the few active students in class, a lot of my friends were expecting me to score well but sad to say, I am just gonna disappoint them. Damn it. My CGPA is going to flunk so badly, it is as if it was dragged down by a 10 tonne weight. And HELL YEA, I was dreaming to be the best KDU student... I think I gotta wake myself up as soon as possible.

I fail in my life. And I thought I could rely on what I do best, my studies. Life is just unfair. I fail in both my life and my studies. I am the biggest failure.

It's new year's eve today. Soon, the year 2008 is going to be over and marks the start of year 2009. I wish someone can tell me what to do or what more can I do. I plan to ditch all my sadness tonight. I hope I can do it. I hope I can find that courage to let go. Nobody said it was going to be easy. Meanwhile, the only thing I am sure that will happen is that I have been and will continue to cry myself to sleep, and drag myself off bed until I am able to let go of this pain ...

An excerpt from Sam Lee - A Brief Encounter

I love someone, I love her until I was a little drunk
Please tell me who are you, for you're able to make me become inconsistent
You're not tired, yet I've loved you to the point of exhaustion
I've never risked my own safety and sacrificed my all for anybody

My mind is total mess now.

I need to express myself.

What hurts the most? Is it the feeling of breaking up with someone or the feeling of seeing your loved ones leaving with someone else? Knowing that you're committed, but the other party just wouldn't give a you chance. Or he/she did gave you a chance, but you didn't take it seriously. Really wanting to love and cherish him/her for the rest of your life yet you failed? Seeing a hope that there will be a future with that guy/girl but only to live on to know that the hope was just a dream, and what is worse is that drowning yourself in a pool of tears looking at your hope being dash. Every sight of him/her with another guy/girl; it's equal if not worse compared to the every cuts on your already bruised heart.

Sometimes, I feel that it's no longer worth fighting for. Nothing is worth my struggle, what more my effort. At times, I feel like giving up but my "never say die" and stubborn attitude is not helping at all. Besides, it has always been my principle to finish what I've started. As we all know, everything that has a beginning must have an end. It is just the matter of time. I know it's going to be difficult for me. Yet, I blame no one for I was the one who made the decisions, I was the one who came looking for trouble. But there is one thing that arouses my curiosity. If there is one thing I wanna know, I wanna know how you feel. If you're not moved at all, then I guess I am just a total failure, in fact the biggest failure in life for that just shows that I haven't given it my all.

Our past is really never far from us. Granted the right circumstances, our past is just like yesterday. The wounds that once bruised our heart was still as fresh; the same is to be said about the everlasting memories of the past, they too are still fresh. Nevertheless, things definitely had changed as time passes by. The thing that wounded me back then was the thought of me having to "give in"... and at the same give up... and move on... Now, it's a whole different story. Now, the thing that wound me is the sight of you suffering. I constantly ask myself if I had contributed to your suffering. What if I was persistent? What if I've pushed it? I guess there is too many "what if" here... All and all, if I say I am not moved or provoked, I must be lying.

I wanna learn. And I assure you I am a good learner. But I guess no one can teach me. I think I just have to learn it the hard way and that my friends... is through failure... and more failures... before I have grown so mature one day, I look back at what I wrote here today, and have a big laugh at myself.

I am in total mess now. No beginning, no ending... just a gloomy future...

Hi guys... I am pretty bored now. It's a public holiday today and I am left with nothing to do except sitting here in front of my laptop, blogging about my not so extraordinary life; LOL...

Last weekend was kinda packed. It was my cousin's wedding event and as usual, I gotta throw in some help. Hmm... what a loving couple they are. The whole wedding thing just suits the season now, the season of happiness. Sigh, the whole wedding thingy makes me dream a lot; hahaha. CK is a dreamer; LOL. It makes me wonder, when and where will my wedding take place and most importantly, who is the bride. All those thoughts, arghhh.. it just eats myself up. But I have got to say, the whole wedding event does have a magic that makes you feel happy and cheerful, a magic that I believe none can explain.

Next, Coffee Island, the night of December 28, 2008. Truth be spoken, I believe my friend saw with her own eyes now the other girl that wrecked her whole relationship. There is nothing for the guy to hide now. There is nothing he can deny now. Sigh, all and all, I just feel that it was not worthwhile for my friend. Hope she will recover soon. A piece of advice to her and myself, sometimes what we think is best for us and what we want may turn out to be the opposite. Both of us have just gotta learn to accept changes.

Finally, my plan to stop counting tonight is TOTALLY WRECKED. One of my friend couldn't make it and that has caused the plan to be cancelled. Ishh!!! Haiz... I guess everything is fated. What are hopes for if they are to dashed over and over again...

Merry Christmas everyone...

Updates...

Last night wasn't as crazy compared to the usual nights we had before in the previous years or during our friends birthday. Hmm... I wonder why??? There were a lot of people celebrating but somehow, it seems as if something was missing. The atmosphere wasn't as happening as before. Sigh, could the current economy recession be a contributory factor???

Hmm... I did keep to my promise for once at least. Hehehe.... I was a good boy last night. I didn't drink. Hahaha... I guess I gotta thank someone for making me kept to my promise. However at the same time, I swear to God, given the chance and the strength, I will beat the shit out of this guy. I was planning to have lots of fun at the beach but luck just wasn't on my side (or maybe luck was on my side). Why did I bump into him??? Fated??? Sigh, I am asking too many questions.

Anyway, I was pretty pissed off that is for sure. Somethings never change while other things changed a lot. Other things completely changed. If my memory serves me right, last year for the same occassion, my friend was with her friend together celebrating but this time around, I did not see my friend. Ish!!! I don't wish to go any deeper. I have got to apologize to someone for being too nosy; I should have just walked away and mind my own business. Sorry, I really didn't mean to ruin your night but I really felt that you should know about it.

Sigh, what a great night ruined by what a small incident. Nevertheless, a lot of my friends are not in good shape too. I just know that nothing last forever. A very close friend of mine had just recently became a victim of relationship problem. Well, he got it pretty badly. Being in a relationship, loving and cherishing this girl for close to 2 years, and I thought they were going to be successful; but who knows... who knows... who could ever predicted that one silent night, the girl rang him up and just thrash things out with him. The girl was pretty mean (that was what I heard) to just tell my friend, after close to 2 long years that she has finally lost all her feelings for my friend. Damn it... Girls, you can't live with them... but can't live without them...

Alright... I think I am done with those emo stories. For God's sake, it's suppose to be the season of happiness. Hmm... new year is in a few days time. I lam ooking forward to that party on new year's eve. Yeah!!! I hope I can enjoy myself then. By the way, this coming December 29, I hope I can stop counting after that day... Hopefully... I will keep you guys posted...

Hi guys, CK is back again and I think I have a few things to share with guys.

First and foremost, my bike almost broke down again. Almost but just not yet, hehehe. Sigh, just like old people, old bikes are also more prone to illness and diseases. Nonetheless, the difference is that bikes are just machines... a human life is much more valuable(like obviously, duh!!!). Anyway, talking about how my bike almost succumb to illness, it was all due to a small rubber O-ring on the radiator. The bike was leaking coolants all the way to the workshop. I was so afraid the bike might just stall mid-way or blown up into pieces, hahaha. Hmm... and I thought the repair would burn a hole in my pocket, luckily the mechanic just charged me RM10. Luckily; LOL.

The second thing is something I am not proud of. Last weekend was pretty messed up for me. I told myself that I just gotta keep my cool but somehow I lost it. Damn it!!! F@#% it anyway. Idiot deserves it. Who ask him to come asking for it. I did warn him not to provoke me again but he just didn't want to believe me. Fine. Now, he is paying for it; a swollen eye. LOL. Nevertheless, the issue is over. I don't wish to talk about the past no more. Let bygones be bygones.

The third thing is that I am pretty messed up myself. Hmm... a quote from Goo Goo Dolls song titled Name, "scars are souvenirs you never lose, the past is never far". Well, I agree with quote and it actually reflects on my real life, at least it reflects the situation now. Mind you, I am using the word "past", meaning it is the past, history. My past was never far. Anyhow, I gotta keep a distance unless I am left with no options. So far so good I can say.

The forth and maybe the most common thing is that, I am still counting. It has been close to 2 weeks and 5 days since I last met her face to face. I know why people call me dumb cause her house is just like maybe less than 5 KM from my house. Everyone said I can just drive over to her house. Well, I don't think they really understand. It's not the distance. It's not how far. Even if it is a matter of distance, I am pretty sure no one can measure it, for there is no metric unit for it.

Lastly, it's Christmas eve today. Wow, talking about how fast time flies. Another year is going to be over. Hmm... no Christmas wishes this year. Duh!!! let's be realistic. The world's economy is facing a recession now and our Santa is probably feeling the pinch too; LOL. Back to being serious, I think I am going to be pretty insane tonight, hehehe. That was how I celebrated it last year and considering that I am celebrating it the same way this time around, things wouldn't change that much. I will keep you guys informed of the progress. That's it for now... back to work...

Hello to everyone. Today has been quite a fun day for a motorcycle geek like me, hehehe....

A few days ago, I can't help but to notice that the carburettors on my bike was leaking petrol. Damn it, haiz... I should have expected this considering the bike is just a few years shy of my age. To be exact, the bike is already registered for 15 years, but still going strong. Nevertheless, you want to ride the bike, you have got to maintain and service the bike. To be honest, I think I made a bad choice preferring bikes over cars but it's too late to change my mind. Anyway, I am very satisfied with the bike, minus the maintaining and servicing part which burned a hole in my pocket; LOL.

At first, I wanted to have my bike serviced at Cartoon's shop, but for Gods sake he is one hell of a blood sucker. I took my bike to his shop and ask him for some suggestions. Well, he suggested that I get the carburettors cleaned and serviced. Hmm... I am no mechanic but I guess I have got to agree with him that is in getting the carburettors cleaned. But there is where the agreement ends. I asked him how much will it cost me to get the carburettors serviced and guess how much he said, a whopping RM85!!! Geez... I am already in a "tight" situation lately and you are asking for RM85 for a job that maybe take you an hour and cost you nothing at all? I think I will pass...

This has left me with no choice but to go to Bulldog's shop (I don't like Jessie's place nor those big shops). Well, I don't really like the mechanic there but they are more friendly; as a matter of fact they are more pocket-friendly. The mechanic doesn't do a very thorough job and most of the time, he will recommend you cheap parts and accessories. I HATE him for recommending dad to fix that Duro tyre now fitted on the front wheel. Anyhow, he says he will charge me RM60 which I tried to negotiate with him and finally we came to an agreement, RM50. Yeah... let's get our hands dirty.

We disassembled the tank, the airbox and finally the carburettors. Wow... I have to say the carburettor on my bike (twin carbs) is pretty huge. Hmm... but thank god they are rather frugal on the fuel. Later on he disassemble the carburettors and cleaned them, sealed them and fix them back. No more leakage. Done... but there goes my RM50. Somehow after the service, I felt that the bike had better response and was smoother than ever. Okay-lah, it was worth spending that RM50.

Next... For those who had seen my bike up close, you sure can't help but to notice how THICK the seat was. Duh... the previous owner certainly knew something about comfort, adding at least 3 inches thickness on the seat. Haiz... sorry, it's not to my liking. After servicing the carburettors, I went around town to find someone to help me do the seats. And again, I met another blood sucker. Hmm... I told him that I needed to get the seat back to its original shape and thickness, and to rewrap the seat. Guess how much he said? RM90. I was like, "What??? RM90???"

I really don't get people nowadays. Why must they charge young teenagers like me so expensive? Do they think that all young teenagers are stupid or I am stupid? Why on earth do you need RM90 to reshape and rewrap the seat? It's not that I am using some expensive alcantara to wrap my seat which I am sure you don't even have it even though if I wanted it. Fine. I continue searching until I bump into this shop, Yang Cushion somewhere in Perak Road. Well, the boss is very friendly and more importantly he was also like Bulldog's mechanic, pocket-friendly. He wanted to charge me RM60 to get it done and as usual, I negotiated with the guy and finally he agree on RM55. I have to say, he did quite an okay job. I was pretty satisfied. I have to say, being a lil' thick face and trying to find alternatives and negotiating saved me RM70. Now that makes a lot of difference to the damage done to my pocket. Hahaha...

Finally, my bike looks a lil' prettier/ more handsome now after reshaping the seat. But I still have a lot of things to do. Next most important thing that I am going to spend on the bike is investing on a set of good tyres, maybe from Metzeler or Bridgestone. It depends on my budget though. I may settle for a set of Maxxis. I've been doing a lot of research on this tyre manufacturer from Taiwan and so far, the reviews on their product has been quite satisfactory. But one thing is for sure, I am not gonna spend my hard-earned money on Duro's. NO WAY...

DONE. It took me half a day to get the whole thing done. I was rather tired when I reached home at 2 p.m. For your info, I slept at 3 a.m last night and woke up at 7.30 a.m. Hmm... what I did was a secret and shall remain as a secret. All and all, maybe I was thinking of something, or maybe someone. Without taking lunch, I lie down on my dad's reclining chair and I just doze off. I woke up at 5 p.m and here I am blogging about my activity for the day December 19, 2008. That's it for now. Until my next post, this is CK... a motorcycle geek... hehehehe...

Time to share with you guys another song, but... this time, it's an English song. Well it's not that I no longer listen to Chinese songs, I still am but this particular song is so nice. I heard it from Season 5 of One Tree Hill and I went through all the hassle just to find out the title of the song. Well, it doesn't stop there. It's pretty difficult to download this song from the net or any P2P apps such as Lime Wire and Frost Wire. Anyhow, I learned a few tricks from the net and managed to somehow steal the song. Hehehe...

Song title: You Fill My Heart
Artiste: Jason Walker

When I saw your face
It was like a space
In my heart was filled
It's like I knew
From the very start
That you were every other part of me

It's like I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
You fill my heart

Oh, love of mine
Why did it take so long to find
Your touch
Hope was never gone
Even though it took so long
To find you

Because I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
And I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
You fill my heart

And I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
And I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
And I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
You fill my heart

Hmm... life for the past week was really quiet and dull. A few of my lucky friends had actually went for their vacation while some had try to earn some extra cash by working and others were so busy living their lives that they didn't even had time to get online. Sigh... how much I wished for the new semester to start now but not for it to end. Silly me, right???

Hmm... maybe I had less friends that I thought I had. The numbers of phone calls I received 2 weeks ago compared to the numbers of phone calls I received now is a clear evident. A sudden drop of almost 80%. Now that is remarkable; LOL. Anyway, I think I had forgotten to mention that there was also an 80% increase 2 weeks ago compared to the weeks before. Hahaha... I guess we'll call it even.

Hmm... I went fishing again yesterday. One thing is for sure, the fishes are back from their holidays. Hahaha. Well, it was kinda hot yesterday and I am kinda "fried"; LOL. Nevertheless, the sea was pretty calm and that is a good thing. I had to say yesterday was somewhat a lucky day. A torn up net, but 5 threadfins??? If it's not luck, then what was it... Hehehe. Coming back home with a chill box half filled with threadfins (not empty handed this time...) it felt good.

Hmm... back to college related matters. If I am not mistaken, the registration date for the Jan 09 semester is on the 30th and 31st of December. That was the info I got from Cik Aini. If you are interested to know more or want to reconfirm the date, do call the college. For the Aug 08 semester results, I am not too sure but I do believe that you will get your result on the registration date itself. That's it for now... Best of luck to everyone...

I confess that I am a workaholic. For this holiday, I had actually applied for the lab assistant job in KDU and I was accepted. Hmm... I may not earn much from it, but I did learn a lot from the job. Well, I started the job on Tuesday morning, being my first day on the job it was something like of a training. I learned about how the login system works, how the queueserver printing system works and how to scan documents for students. I admit, the job is pretty boring but I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

There is another thing that I have to confess. I hate Maybank. Maybank sucks. Working with KDU, I was required to have an account in Maybank in order for them to bank in my salary for me. I didn't have one, so I was asked to open an account with Maybank. Okay, I had just learn about the psychology of waiting in Services Marketing class and I know why waiting will feel much longer than they actually is. Fine. Well, is 1.5 hours waiting long enough? I was asked to wait for my turn and there was only 2 customers who came before me. I am wondering why the bank workers need 1.5 hours to handle 2 customers. For God's sake, it's ONLY 2 customers. Why do they need 45 minutes for one customer? Anyway, its done. I don't wanna talk about it anymore.

Not done yet. I still have one thing to confess. I love my bike. I just love it so much. Hmm.. how fast can a 650cc V-Twin go? 1st gear at 8500rpm, it reaches 80km/h, shift up and you're engaged with the second gear which brings you up to 120km/h, shift up again and you will be exceeding the speed limit and you can feel the torque all across the rev. Extra info to share with you, reaching 100km/h just takes about 4 secs. Not joking here. It is my first time experiencing such a broad torque curve on any motorcycle. Suddenly, I feel that small bikes are really so underpowered. Anyway, the fastest I ever went with the bike is 160km/h and damn it's fast. However speed kills. Someone, anyone please constantly remind me that I will get myself killed if I don't stop this madness and addiction to speed.

OKAY. Maybe I have one last thing to confess. Sorry, I promise this is the last one.

I miss her. It is just so difficult. It has been like almost a week, seven days and a hundred and sixty eight hours since I last saw her face to face. I am starting to think that if a week has become a time period which is so long, how am I gonna cope with it when she leaves and it is real soon before she leaves. Hmm... how can one fall and fall so deep, a question I ask myself every single day before sleep. Jokes or not, she is the first thing I think of every morning and the last thing that I think of before I sleep. One will ask, does she deserves it? Answer is YES. Ask me today, ask me tomorrow, ask me next week, next month, next year and the answer will always remain as YES, always and forever.

I end this post with a song to share with you guys. The title is Waiting For You, by Anson Hu.

Holidays are so boring... Haiz... Rotting at home...

Funny is, I guess it is holidays for the fishes too. I went fishing lately, but to my surprise, for once... I came back empty handed. EMPTY HANDED. I had been following my dad fishing for at least 5 years now and never once did I came back empty handed. Well, everything has its first time. Where has all the luck gone to??? Most importantly, where has all the fishes gone to... ? Please come back soon, LOL.

With no fishes to catch, fishing eventually becomes boring. In order to save myself from boredom, I resorted to digging for shellfish. I am not sure of the exact name in English, but I am damn sure the Malays call it siput remis and we Chinese just call is siput. So what did we do with the siput? Well, if there is one reason I love mum's cooking is because of this siput. Hehehe. She is so good at preparing it, thick soy sauce, lots of ginger and sugar... Yummy...

They are beautiful isn't it? They are yummy too... after it is cooked and prepared by mum, Hehehe

Mum is very active lately. She has been baking cake non-stop. 2 fruit cakes and 2 butter cakes in one week. All finished up within one week. Hmm... wondering why I can't get any fatter...

Today, she made some curry puffs and damn they are tasty. And they look beautiful too. So they say you gotta serve the eye first before the mouth... Hahaha... well take a look at the curry puffs... the pastry has a very unique shell-like design...

Yummy!!! I am so gonna gain weight this hols (hopefully)

I am deeply addicted to songs from Sam Lee now. I am officially not CK anymore... LOL.

This song is dedicated to someone. Hope that someone will get the message. Think carefully before you do anything, okay???

Sam Lee - Recently ( 李聖傑-最近 )

This song has a very very sad music video. It is about a girl who is so truly, madly and deeply in love with her boyfriend. One day, the girl found out that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Trying to salvage the severed relationship, the girl resorted to using her own body, betraying her own self to rescue her lost love by eternally possessing her boyfriend physically instead. Later on, the girl drugged her boyfriend and commit suicide and kill the boyfriend together with her.

Lyrics translated

Recently you didn't talk much
What? Why?
Is there any matter?
You are not happy
Heard that you are lonely recently
A bit distraught
A bit hasty
However, I cannot be on you side

I don't wish to give you everything of me.
I cannot be what you want me to be.
We are not meant for each other but we deny it.
On several occasion we cry for each other.
All day long like this, it's the beginning
I think all have ended long ago
Don't want to be bounded again
Don't want to suffer again
Next path will be better

Recently you didn't talk much
What? Why?
Is there any matter?
You are not happy
Heard that you are lonely recently
A bit distraught
A bit hasty
However, I cannot be on you side

I don't wish to give you everything of me.
I cannot be what you want me to be.
We are not meant for each other but we deny it.
On several occasion we cry for each other.
All day long like this, it's the beginning
I think all have ended long ago
Don't want to be bounded again
Don't want to suffer again
Next path will be better

Love I cannot give everything
I cannot be what you want me to be.
We are not meant for each other but we deny it.
On several occasion we cry for each other.
All day long like this, it’s the beginning
I think all have ended long ago
Don't want to be bounded again
Don't want to suffer again
Next path will be better

This time we can be very happy

A Chinese song to share with you guys... Try to grasp the meaning of the song if you can.

Sam Lee (Li Sheng Jie) - A Brief Encounter (Ca Jian Er Guo)

The lyrics of the song, translated..

I've loved someone, loved until I was a little drunk
Tell me who you are, to be able to make me become so unusual
You're not tired, yet I've loved you to the point of exhaustion
I've never risked my own safety and sacrificed my all for anybody
I'm standing at the equilibrium point, but I still feel it's a little dangerous
Maybe it's because I can't see and can only use my intuition/feelings

He's not a good man, and is not a good lover either
To me, we are just two people who had a brief encounter
There are so many good men out there; without him, life will still go on
I will no longer make you feel lonely, and I won't let you feel more hurt
Listen to me, you must learn how to live well
Even if the future has many wrongs, at least you'll have my greeting and my warmth, accompanying you through the days

Listen to me, you shouldn't do this
Don't look at me and say you already know what you should do
You feel pain, and I'm willing to bear the pain with you
As long as you're not afraid to get hurt, I'll accompany you no matter how difficult it gets
I'm standing at the equilibrium point, but I still feel it's a little dangerous
Maybe it's because I can't see and can only use my intuition/feelings

He's not a good man, and is not a good lover either
To me, we are just two people who had a brief encounter
There are so many good men out there; without him, life will still go on
I will no longer make you feel lonely, and I won't let you feel more hurt
Listen to me, you must learn how to live well
Even if the future has many wrongs, at least you'll have my greeting and my warmth, accompanying you through the days

He's not a good man, and is not a good lover either
To me, we are just two people who had a brief encounter
There are so many good men out there; without him, life will still go on
I will no longer make you feel lonely, and I won't let you feel more hurt
Listen to me, you must learn how to live well
Even if the future has many wrongs, at least you'll have my greeting and my warmth, accompanying you through the days

At last, the exam week is over. After a long and tiring battle with the exam paper, I can finally get the rest that is so ever needed. For your info, I am a guy who loves sleeping but for the past week, I have not been getting sufficient sleep. Maximum sleep that I had for a night in the past week is 5 hours if I am not mistaken. Sigh, I could still recall that one of the girls in college actually said that I was getting thinner and thinner and I think the insufficient sleep is the main culprit. Is that a good thing? Certainly not. LOL. Any thinner and I will be blown away by the winds...

Nevertheless, the end of exams means the beginning of the holidays. Some welcome it, others just don't know what to do with their holidays to a point where even some claimed that they will lose their sense of direction. Well, it doesn't make sense to me anyway. There are plenty of things to do for the holidays. And come on, haven't you guys forgot that you were complaining about being so tired handling all those assignments? Grab this opportunity to take some rest and maybe reflect back on the past. For those who are workaholics, you may grab this chance to gain some work experience and at the same time earn some extra cash...hehehe.

*** continue pt 2 ***

I noticed that I have changed a lot lately. Previously, I don't listen to chinese songs and needless to say, how would I even get addicted to it if I don't listen to them. Now, time has passed. Things have changed. I listen to chinese songs and I listen to the same song repeatedly for hours sometimes. Guess I am going nuts. I can't seem to figure out what was the reason that is causing this until... finally I think I got the answers.

Looking back in the past, once, there was this one individual that managed to change my perception about motorcycles. I was a very determined but stubborn guy in the past (and still is now) and I thought no one could ever easily change my perception or mindset. However, guess I wrong. That particular individual did manage to change my perception and attributing the same factor for this "addiction to chinese songs" problem, I am pretty sure someone has influenced me in some way in terms of my music and song selection.

Haiya, I am sure I don't have to mention who that someone is. Just take a guess and you already have the answer. No matter who that someone is; the change in my perception about motorcycles did not last long, maybe because that someone has become a chapter in my life. On the other hand, I feel that the change in my music and song selection will last long and even become permanent. Why? Maybe because this "someone" is not a chapter in my life. Maybe this "someone" is different. Maybe this "someone" is more important and significant...

Summary: there are TWO significant individuals in my life. One changed my perception about motorcycles, the other changed my view/perception about chinese songs. One shall remain as history, the other... is the present and I hope she will be the future. Anyway, hopes are just hopes and shall remain as hopes. As one of my ex-classmates did mention to me, if it is yours, you can't escape from it even if you want to...

It feels like ages since I last blog. Life is so busy nowadays. It's exam week and everyone is rushing about looking for tips and hints. Well, I got a complaint to make here. As if I don't have enough problem of my own, I still need to handle others' problem. Geez... I need a break. I need a vacation.

Exam weeks are often the ugliest week in college. Accusations are thrown blindly and a person's good image and reputation is tarnished. I pity one particular friend. Like she has said and explained to me, a promise is a promise. She kept to her promise, but keeping that promise meant that she would have to be selfish. Well, no one ever said the world is not a cruel place to be in. Survival of the fittest. You have to have your own initiative to do your "homework" or you will be left out. It is not right for you to blame anyone for not helping you...

Exam weeks are not exam weeks without arguments. People argue due to stress and burnout. You study and study and study, not realizing how much time you have spent studying yet nothing goes in. Then you get mad at every single thing. You get provoked by every small tiny matters. You start cursing people. People start cursing you back. Bam!!! You have an argument. Childish isn't it? You tell me-lah... Haiz...

Exam week is often the week that you see people lose weight and have black rings on their eyes. Burning the midnight oil and skipping meals just for the sake of covering every single subject, going through every single topic and subtopics. Is there a point? Well, it's difficult to say. I am not saying that last minute revision doesn't work. My point is that studying wasn't meant to be so difficult and demanding. Anyway, I rest my case, can't say much... Why? I am one of the victims too; LOL.

Tomorrow another paper, the next day two more papers. There goes one more semester, and there are two more sems to go. Holiday for a month, repeat A MONTH, 30 DAYS... What am I gonna do during the holidays??? Haiz...

Still am addicted to chinese songs. I guess there is no cure for it... Don't care la, not bothered anymore if I listen to chinese or english songs. Not related though, I AM THE ONLY PERSON/GUY IN PLANET EARTH THAT NEEDS A LIL' MORE CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK UP AND TELL HER WHAT I NEED TO TELL HER, AND THAT IS WHILE SHE IS STILL HERE. OR... I am gonna live my life filled with regrets...

I am not myself lately; LOL. Even my brother was shocked to find out that I am listening to chinese songs lately. As a matter of fact, I am addicted to chinese songs. Hmm... wondering what is causing this.

For those who know me, I don't speak chinese (mandarin and cantonese) neither do I understand them. So why am I listening to chinese song since I don't understand them? Well, chinese songs I listen to are those that fall under the emo songs category; LOL. To be honest, chinese songs are not that bad actually. Performers such as Wang Lee Hom is able to "give life" to his song and somehow, I feel kinda connected to his songs or at least one of them, Wei Yi or Only One. My comment for this song, how romantic can a man get??? Well, judge it yourself.



It will be best if you can check out the lyrics and understand them. I hereby dedicate this song to someone, my one and only...

Wang Lee Hom - The One and Only

My sky is so fresh and clean
The clear promise is the air of the past
The person holding my hand is you
But your smile; cannot be clearly seen

Was it because a star changed its heart's preference?
The wishes of the past; have all been thrown away
I can't breathe recently
Even my own shadows; I too want to escape

Baby you're my one and only
The two worlds have all changed shapes; it's not that easy to go back
Assurance; you're my one and only
I say I Love You alone to the phone; I really love you
Baby I cannot love you more than this

Was it because a star changed its heart's preference?
The wishes of the past; have all been thrown away
I can't breathe recently
Even my own shadows; I too want to escape (escape)

Baby you're my one and only
The two worlds have all changed shapes; it's not that easy to go back
Assurance; you're my one and only
I say I Love You alone to the phone; I really love you
Baby I cannot love you more than this

Actually, it has already passed the limit of love

Baby you're my one and only
The two worlds have all changed shapes; it's not that easy to go back
Assurance; you're my one and only
I say I Love You alone to the phone; I really love you

Baby I cannot love you more than this...

I don't even know why am I blogging now. Exam is just around the corner (in one week time) yet I am still in relaxation mode. Here I am, writing nonsense about myself. For God's sake, I should be studying now but something just bothers me. May I ask why must it happen now? Am I not worried about exam? The apparent answer is no. I am worried but then my mind gets distracted and there goes all my attention needed to revise for the upcoming exam.

Life is full of choices. We make up our mind and it is just too difficult for us to turn back and change our decision. Approximately 6 months ago, I went through what I may say the darkest moments of my life. I had no one to turn to, no one to lean on and worse, I lost my sense of direction. That very moment, I thought I learned my lesson. But I guess I was being too naive....

Once a while, you meet people in your life. While some may not have significant effects on your life, others create a whole lot of impact making them far more important that anyone else. Luck could be the only reason that explains why we meet them. For me, I couldn't be more thankful for I meet that someone when I was at the lowest point of my life. Nothing much has changed though. Perhaps fate decided that things weren't suppose to change at all. Anyhow, should I be glad that there was no changes? Frankly, I don't even have an answer myself...

Giving up was never easy. That was why it took me so long to let go in the past. Growing up in a somewhat discriminatory environment taught me that I have got to be tough and resilient and I thought I was tough and resilient. Nonetheless, these past few days proved me wrong. I didn't wanted to give up. I hold true to the saying "never say die". In fact, I have not given up. But giving in? What is giving in? Never have I encounter such words in this matter but who cares anyway. If giving up is gonna be tough, giving in is even tougher I guess.

What is the measure of love? Before that, what is love?, a frequently asked question by those who suffers from unrequited love. How do we measure one's love for another human being? Hmm... to anyone who has the answer, do share with me. If love is to be measured by the wealth you own, then what about those who were married in the kampungs and how do you explain why their marriage lasted so long. If it is to be measured by the things that is sacrificed for him/her, how do you explain love at first sight?

The most important question we have to constantly ask and remind ourself, what was it that made us fell in love with him/her. Smart people give reasons such as, 'oh, she is beautiful', 'she is smart' and lame excuses such as 'she was the one who was attracted to me first'. For those who are drowned in love, they places them above everything else, likened them to god and goddess. Back to the question, I don't even know why I fell in love with her. I guess you don't need a reason to love someone. There is just no reasoning in love... it is just not some math equation.

A statement I have to make here. It was not a competition neither it is now. It doesn't work that way, at least I believe so. There is no winner or loser. She is not the winning trophy. There is no first prize or consolation prize. Enough fighting and comparing. Comparison makes the whole effort seem fake, untrue and dishonest. Conclusion, I am done. I am done fighting, done struggling. Mind you though, this is not the end. Done fighting doesn't mean I gave up. Done struggling doesn't mean I give in.

After much waiting for the never-will-arrive Kawasaki ER6-n, I have given up and continue my search for a used high powered motorcycle. Among the bikes that I have considered includes the Honda CB400SF, Honda Shadow VT600, Honda Magna 750 (I blogged about it before) but never once did it cross my mind that I will "meet" what I would say, one of the rarest bikes in Penang, previously owned by a very nice uncle, the Honda NTV650 Revere.

The Honda NTV650 Revere is the European version of the Honda Hawk GT647 which has now achieve its cult status in the United States. Both bikes uses the same 52 degrees V-twin 600cm3 engine, but it is bored out to achieve 647cm3 and utilizes a single overhead cam with 3 valve per cylinder and features the twin spark ignition. It produces about 50 something horsepower and 56 Newt. The Revere, compared side by side with the Hawk, has a larger fuel tank for better touring capability and a longer rear section. Besides that, it uses the shaft drive which is maintenance free compared to the chain drive of the Hawk, but the Hawk uses a better chassis which is made from aluminum compared to the Revere's steel frame.

On the run, the Revere feels a bit panicky. The front suspension is a wee bit on the soft side, but the rear seems adequate though. Surprisingly, the bike is capable to handle corners much better than you think it can. For your info, the Hawk and the Revere was regarded as a high tech motorcycle back then when it was launched in the late 1980's. It was probably one of the first few bikes back then to use the Honda Pro Am single arm on the rear of the bike. Besides giving it a really nice design for the swing arm and wheels, it also helps in weight reduction and enables the use of the single suspension, better known as Monoshock.

The bike is claimed to achieve the 62 mph sprint in under 4 seconds, but it seems a bit optimistic. Nonetheless, it will achieve 62 mph within the 5 second range. The only complaint that I have about the bike is that it is somewhat under equipped. The meter gauges only shows a speedometer, a tachometer, temperature, high beam, turn signals and neutral gear. It lacks the fuel gauge which is an important feature. The gearbox though claimed by others to be less precise, to me, it is okay but just a bit rough as you can hear the 'klonk' sound when you shift up or down.

So, hmm... why did I suddenly talk a whole lot about the Honda NTV650 Revere? It is because it is my bike now. The uncle has finally agreed to sell it to me, at somewhat a high price many has claimed. Though, dad has bought it for me. Hehehe. I am a happy man now, contented. I can finally say I am a proud owner of a very rare bike in Penang. Hahaha (freaking show off here, mind you, it is an old bike, so nothing to show to people). Alright, done talking. It is time to go back and polish the new member to the collection of bikes at my house now, beginning with the monster muscle bike, dad's Honda CB1300SF, his Honda EX5, my Yamaha Lagenda Z and my Suzuki FX125 cyber sport, THE HONDA NTV650 REVERE.

The same original colour, the same wheels, totally original...

Hahahahaha. Well, I am a different guy. I want all girls to know. Hahahaha again. LOL. My friend posted this in his friendster bulletin and I just have to steal it. Hahaha again. Here are some examples:

We secretly memorize everything you wear. (this is scary, LOL)

Don't tell us to tell you if you look bad. Just... stop. We won't. Ever. Under no circumstances.

Not all guys are afraid of commitment.

Likewise, not all guys want to take advantage of you so please, for the love of god, get over your "I hate men" bitching.

Honestly, we really do think all girls are uglier than you. It's how our brains work. So quit asking.

Sometimes the only things that motivate us to even try at all in school are our wonderful girlfriends.

We say you don't need to dress up for us or wear makeup for us... but we sure would like you too!

We're not kidding when we say we'll trash any guy that looks at you.

Tell us when we smell, please. We can't tell and our guy friends don't realize it.

But please don't smell, we have this concept in our mind that girls are supposed to smell like flowers and sunshine.

When your boyfriend is a nerd, the least you can do is pretend to listen to him when he attempts to tell a funny story about his guild in World of Warcraft, or attempts to explain the physics of a tachyon.

Oh, and nerds really are better lovers.

After reading it, I just can't stop laughing though some are facts, some are truths. Hahahahaha... The laughing continues...

This week is not going to be a very pleasurable week. To start the week with such an issue, it is the last thing any living person would ask for. Well, what goes around comes around. It was easy for me to say back then; to just ignore comments and other's opinion. Back then, I was not the victim. Now, it's a totally different story.

Well, I can't blame others for their curiosity. I, myself did contributed to this problem. Being a loud person, I don't really care if others may hear what I have just said. Nonetheless, this, my friends, is different. This does not only involve me as it also involves another individual. I am not seeking for fame nor am I looking for glory. I pray hard to control myself. I hope I will get through this issue alive. That's if they stop what they are doing now or it's going to be their funeral. The sight of those people, I may not be a big sized guy, I may not be a street fighter but nothing beats a guy whose heart is full of rage. I, myself don't even know what I am capable of... at least when I am angry.

Well, do I sound like the green beast a.k.a the Hulk, "you don't like me when I'm angry?" LOL. Anyway, there is a statement that I have to make. If I can respect you/anyone, I hope for nothing back in return except the same kind/amount of respect given to you/anyone. I would really appreciate it if anyone or any of you guys whom I recognize and acknowledge as friends to ask me personally if you are concerned or have an interest over matters about my life. I don't need free publisity in college (enough popularity, okay?) and I certainly don't need gossips and grapevines flowing around classes. This, I beg of you; if you don't respect me, the least you can do is to respect that other individual.

This, I have to stress. I AM NOT JOKING HERE neither am I making a FOOL out of myself. Don't push it. Don't cross the borderline. Don't exceed the limit. I can tell you, you are this close to making me lose control. That my friend is the limit that you should know. Again, I am asking you nicely to stop all the nonsense you are doing. If you have your personal agenda or if it's just for fun, well read this, "GO GET A LIFE".

Okay, done talking about college and people in college. Now, time to update you guys on my recent fishing trip this past weekend. THREADFIN. I think it's their season this time of the year. A few kilos everyday, for two days. Hehehe. Allow me to show you guys a pic of the biggest threadfin I caught recently. May not be big for you guys, but it is big enough for me. =D

A few kilos. Maybe 12 kilos. Hehehe...


Biggest threadfin for the day, weighing at 600+ grams and 16 inches in length.

I AM ANGRY!
I AM EXTREMELY PISSED OFF!
NO WORDS DESCRIBE MY ANGER NOW.

I JUST WANT A PUNCHING BAG.
GIVE ME A PUNCHING BAG.
someone...
ARGH!!!

I bet you music listeners out there will probably know who Jason Mraz is. Tell me if I'm wrong. But... have you guys heard of Jason Reeves? This guy is so talented. Equally as good as Jason Mraz if not better. The lyrics are just so meaningful and I feel so connected to it. Warning, only suitable for those emo people, like me. Hehehe...

Jason Reeves - Someone Somewhere




Someone is waiting
someone who understands exactly how you feel
exactly how you feel..
someone is dreaming
someone is hoping just that this will be the day
that this will be the day..

that you take your eyes off the ground
out of the blue
and see that someone is looking right
back at you..

maybe that someone's me
maybe it's meant to be
lovers, strangers
sometimes bombs fall quietly..
maybe it's chemistry
maybe it's hard to see that someone is the right one
i hope that someone is me..

nobody's perfect
nobody's perfect no one really knows the truth
all we've got's a point of view..
and there's too many questions
there's too many questions and too many reasons not to try
there's too many reasons not to try..

but you should take your eyes off the ground
out of the blue
and see that someone is looking right
back at you..

- CHORUS -

where ya gonna go from here??
cause everything you need's out there
and you can have it if you dare
if you dare
there's someone somewhere..

- CHORUS -

I am so addicted to Michael Bolton, a great song writer and a superb performer. Here are two fine examples of his great music, Soul Provider and When a Man Loves a Woman.

Soul Provider - Michael Bolton

Talk about love, talk about trust
Talkin' 'bout forever baby
When I'm talkin' 'bout us
I give you my word, stick to my guns
Believe when I tell ya baby
That we've just begun
You don't understand, no
The full intent of my plan

I wanna be your soul provider
I wanna stay that way
For the longest time
I wanna be, your soul provider
Just say you'll let me
And darlin' I will

I know you've been hurt, I know you're love shy
You don't have to say it baby
It's gonna take some time
Ya got my heart, in the palm of your hand
Swear it's gonna stay there baby
Give me half a chance
You don't understand
The full intent of my plan
I've been waitin' for a long time for somebody like you
To give my love, all my love day and night
Just say you'll be mine for the rest of your life
Baby I'll show you why

I wanna be your soul provider
I wanna stay that way
For the longest time
I wanna be, your soul provider
Just say you'll let me
And darlin' I will

When a Man Loves a Woman - Michael Bolton

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothin' else
He'd trade the world
For a good thing he's found
If she is bad, he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he puts her down

When a man loves a woman
Spend his very last dime
Trying to hold on to what he needs
He'd give up all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the way
It ought to be

When a man loves a woman
I give you everything I got "yeah"
Trying to hold on
To your precious love
Baby please don't treat me bad

When a man loves a woman
Deep down in his soul
She can bring him such misery
If she is playing him for a fool
He's the last one to know
Loving eyes can never see

Yes when a man loves a woman
I know exactly how he feels
Cause baby baby baby
I am a man
When a man loves a woman

"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." Sounds familiar to you? Well it is one the lines in Kung Fu Panda as quoted by Master Oogway. Yesterday to me was fun. Well, I got to hang out with a few of my friends. Though it was only for a couple hours, it doesn't really matter. What matters most was that everyone did enjoy themselves. So they say emphasize on quality and not quantity, a statement which I TOTALLY agree with.

So what was the activity yesterday? The activity was nothing much but to go and pick up "cockroach"'s offer letter from one of the university in Australia recommended to her by an education advisor from StudyLink. As usual, after receiving the letter of offer, me being the typical CK who was damn "kaypo" posed a few question to the education advisor, on behalf of "cockroach". In my honest opinion, I didn't know what he was talking about as most of the time he was mumbling about how that university would provide good quality education. Okay, what is quality education? Is there any university out there, whether in UK, US or Australia that claims that they DON'T provide good quality education?

This has led to another argument/debate between me and the education advisor. Course fee and budget. Haven't you heard that you receive what you paid for and you pay for what you received. My point was, considering that you have already made such a big investment and commitment to a university, would you fork out at extra $5000 AUD just to get to a better uni? Yes , no doubt $5000 AUD is not a small amount in any sense, but I do believe you will spend that extra $5000 AUD just to enter to a more recognized uni. Then... to my surprise... he started to talk about food (I presume it's char koay teow), in Penang and KL. Penang char koay teow is much cheaper compared to those served in KL, but it taste much better. I was like "What the hell?, obviously you don't get me. There is something called "switching cost" and risk".

Come on, let's be a little mature. Will you regret if you have ordered a plate of char koay teow from KL that didn't taste as good as the ones in Penang? Yes you will. But can you order another plate of char koay teow prepared in Penang? Yes you can. However, can you do the same with a university? Can you simply change from one uni to the other? Yes but would you do it, considering you have probably spend THOUSANDS... not ringgits? What about the time lost? Money lost or wasted can be earned but can you recover back the time that you had wasted? To many things and too many factors are involved. Let us just don't look at the surface...

Nonetheless, he still doesn't want to give up. He claims that he can provide a double qualification with the cost of a single qualification from a good university. Sigh, guess I am a very difficult guy to please. Today is just not his day for having to "cross swords" with me. What is the point of a double qualification if it's not recognized or well-known. Isn't it dumb? Getting a degree and a master degree from an unknown, probably not so recognized uni doesn't make you any better compared to a degree holder from say Melbourne uni? Getting those two qualification doesn't make you any special for it only shows that you are a bookworm and that is if you manage to complete it. Let us not neglect the fact that besides being book-smart, we also have to be street-smart. Sigh, I just love to think too much... Anyway, it wasn't my problem also. It is "cockroach"'s problem.

Today is "about her"'s birthday. Happy Birthday. May all your wishes come true but hey, don't just hope but work hard for it okay? I hope luck shall always shine on you no matter where you are, where you are heading and in whatever you do and about to do. And best wishes in all your future plans. But I guess on the time that I am posting this, she is probably celebrating with a bunch of her friends. Anyway, I shall grab the chance to celebrate with her tonight. Wish me luck... =)

I have just got to love fishing. Fishing is so fun... I have been fishing for two days in a row, Saturday and Sunday. I guess dad was in good mood, LOL. On Saturday, he took me and my bro all the way to Kuala Sungai Pinang and for your info, it is further than Monkey Beach and Pantai Kerachut and it's not that polluted stinking Sungai Pinang. After setting up the boat, we set journey to this Kuala Sungai Pinang. So you would be wondering how was the boat ride. To be honest, it was kinda boring; LOL. How do you describe a ride on an Explorer F17 powered by a Suzuki 15HP outboard motor? SLOW. It took us approximately 40 minutes to reach this Kuala Sungai Pinang from the place where we parked the boat.

I have to say being a Penangite, everyone should go for a boat ride around Penang island. No words can describe it. I am speechless when we travelled so far to this Kuala Sungai Pinang, we pass by Batu Feringghi, Teluk Bahang, Monkey Beach and Pantai Kerachut. Who ever say the beaches in Penang is dirty and polluted (minus Gurney Drive)? My honest opinion, I would say Penang has one of the best beaches in Malaysia, probably the world. Anyway, once we reach there, we lay down our nets in search for baits. Our mission on Saturday, to look for grouper. As usual, bro took along all his fishing gears (show off). After getting enough baits (live prawns and cuttlefish), we proceed to fish at nearby places near rocky beaches.

So did we manage to get any grouper? Well, a lot of groupers. Not joking. Okay, maybe they aren't a kilo or two in size, we did manage to caught a lot of small groupers, baby groupers. Sigh, I am really really pissed off. I don't have a camera or at least a good camera or I would have taken lots and lots of pics. Time for me to save money to get a good water resistant camera, hehehe. After getting enough groupers, we decided that we should head home before it gets too dark. Yet again, another 40 minutes ride back. We almost didn't have enough fuel to reach Tanjung Bungah forcing us to go for a pit stop at Batu Ferringhi to refuel with a guy named Ah Boon. He is no baboon okay, he is a nice guy. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have reached home on Saturday night.

Tiredness never stop me or dad from fishing. Bro is totally knocked out after one whole day at the sea. Today, we set out to sea in search for the mullets I showed you guys that day. Well, the weather was fine in the morning, yet when it reaches mid-day, it started drizzling then raining. This is worsened by strong winds and waves. Nonetheless, we did manage to get ourselves some fish. Hehehe. Mullets of course, prawns definitely and promfets. Yupz, promfets. Let me upload the pic of the mullets and promfets I caught.

Pic of promfets I caught. This are caught, look properly and you will see the markings of the net. And look at the silver scales, they are fresh. Hehehe.

Hmm... this is a surprise. This is King of Mullets. Though only one, this King of Mullets is 14 inches in length, compared to the normal ones, 6 inches.

Before I end this post, I bet you guys had probably heard of the "electric fish". You guys had probably heard of how it will shock you with the currents generated from its body. Well, you know what, I managed to caught our very own local "electric fish". It doesn't look like a fish, it's a ray, an electric ray. Yupz, you heard me right... For your info, it is very very cute. Extremely cute. It's black in color, soft, slimy with two small tiny eyes. Hahaha. Forgive me for being so excited. This is my first encounter with an "electric ray"... I checked the Internet and based on wikipedia, it is called the finless sleeper ray under the Narkidae family. Its binomial name is Temera hardwickii, what a cute name for a cute fish. Here are two pics of the "electric ray" ...ZZZ

It is just very small, seems harmless and damn cute.
There are 2 white spots on the right and left.

Touch me and I will "surprise" you!!!

Well, that's it for now. I need to get some rest now. Dad is back to work and I am back to college. Will keep you guys updated on my next fishing trip...

Love all, trust a few, do harm to none - William Shakespeare. Do you believe in it? Do you agree with it? Well, whether you believe or agree with it or not, I certainly do. Two days ago, I lost one of the most valuable thing in my life and no, its not any of my family members (choi, touch keyboard; LOL) or my beloved friends. So, what is that most valuable thing? Hmm... my pencil case??? Yupz, it is my pencil case. If my memory serves me right, I have been using the same, dirty, blue colored pencil case for the past 5 years. Both me and the pencil case have gone through alot, PMR, SPM and every single final semester exam and I would say it's like a lucky charm to me.

So you are probably thinking why am I talking about my lost pencil case, and how is it going to make me believe and agree with what shakespeare had said. Hmm... today, I received a call from someone whom you least expect, the business school front desk administrator. To my surprise, I was expecting that I am again in deep shit and started to think what have I done to be called up by the college again. Hence, I rode my bike back to college (I have already reached home when the time I received that call) expecting a bad news from them. However, seems like I was being too imaginative, the admin people only needed my help in preparing some brochure and a short slide show for the upcoming talk regarding Keele University presented by Professor Peter Lawrence. By the way, if you are a yr 2 or 3 KDU diploma in business student, please attend the talk. Its November 13, at 11 am in lecture theatre 1.

So, as usual, it is pretty difficult for me to turn down anyone who ask help from me. After gaining all the information needed, I went to the library and started the "assignment" that was passed to me. Expecting nothing in return, I did ask the admin if they had seen my pencil case or not to which the reply was no, I receive another call from the admin people at approximately 3.30pm saying that they had found my pencil case. Wow, I was extremely happy. Hmm... thank you to that anonymous person from Murdoch (if I am not mistaken) for returning back the pencil case.

Was everything inside and most importantly, was my thumbdrive inside? YES. Not even a single pen or eraser went missing. However, what did broke my heart was that before that someone return the pencil case, I am not sure if it was him/her or his/her friends, someone "raped" my pencil case; LOL. Anyway, the damage is done, I have already bought a new pencil case which is even cuter, hahaha, so case close. I am happy now that I have recovered back my thumbdrive. This is a fine example of what shakespeare had said, love all, trust a few, do harm to none. I helped all, trust a few and do harm to none, to which I have receive good things back in return. Just like what they say in malay, "buat baik dibalas baik"; LOL.

The story later is not so good. I had promised someone to do something. Yet, because of me helping the admin people, I was held back until I was too late. Argh... not only I am late, in fact, I had to cancel the whole thing. Ish!!! I really hate myself. Sigh, why did it rain? Why did it rain during the most crucial time? Fate I guess. Haihz... luck was never on my side. Never... Hmm... I have got to think positively. I create my own fate. My fate lies in my hand. I decide what I want and what I hate. I am in control of my life...!!!

Last but not least, almost forgotten, I have got to congratulate my friend, Chia Mei. Hahaha... Chia Mei, if you are reading this, I congratulate you for finally Mr Sweetguy said something nice about you. Keep your faith alive. I shall be supporting you from behind. Hahahaha....

Yet another busy week... Assignment and more assignments... Presentations... Classroom activity... You name it and I have got to face it, this week and next week. So they say college life is fun, free and entertaining but I have got to say, it ain't fun this week. Sigh... such a simple subject of Academic English for Business has turned out to be so difficult.

More than 60 pages of journal to be read and a task to write a review on it for the sake of getting 5 marks??? Where is justice??? My seniors don't have to do it. So why is it compulsory now? "It's all for your own good, to prepare you for degree courses", that is the typical response you get from Ms Florence when you ask her. Well, we all know that her intention is good, the outcome is very likely to be positive but please be a little considerate considering we are not only taking your subject. Have you forgotten? Let me refresh your memory, we still have Operations Management, Management of Human Resource, Services Marketing and Company Law.

Anyway, enough talking about college life. Let's talk about what have I been doing lately. Hmm... errr... nothing? LOL. Life is so dull. I am so bored at home. I am either at college or at work. Life is no fun. Sigh... Dad is back to work and there goes all the fishing time. Someone, anyone... if you are reading this, if you are free sometimes, do call me out... Argh!!! I am rotting at home.

I think I am getting crazy, probably mad. Its been like 5 months or so. Kawasaki... ARE YOU CHEATING ME? Don't fool with me. I am getting more pissed off as the days gone by. I am now considering any bikes, KTM, Honda, Suzuki, Yamaha even Harley Davidson... Hahahaha... I know I won't be able to afford any of the bikes, but who cares... If its fine with dad, it's certainly fine with me. Beggars can't be choosers. Quick... get me my bike. By the way, if its not too much to ask for, the Z750 looks perfect too; LOL.

Wrong timing, bad luck, fate. For the mean time, let's hope I will get my bike soon. Now, its back to the 60 pages journal for this Friday's class. Wish me luck...

Hot day. Rough sea. Strong currents. None of this is going to stop me from fishing today and I am really glad I went fishing today. Though my body is falling apart and breaking into pieces after 7 hours in the middle of the sea, it is not a big issue considering the catch I got today. Fish, prawns, mantis prawns (love it), crabs and swamp crab. Hahaha... A variety of seafood at no cost. Okay, maybe at one cost. I am getting dark, really really dark. Sunburn, LOL. Anyway, let the pics do the talking.

A snapshot of a swamp crab and a big mantis prawn I caught today.

A snapshot of flower crabs before I boil and feast on them. =)


A snapshot of the fish I caught. Name? Err... mullets??

Finally, it came to my senses that fishing is actually a great activity to do when you're free. You don't waste money, in fact you earn. Yupz, you earn money. The mullets you saw up there, guess how much is it per kilo? Its RM17.00 per kilo. Me and my dad, we managed to caught 14 kilos of that mullet. Hmm... anyway, it's not the money that attracts me. Its the fun you had on the boat, pulling in the nets and looking at all the catches. As extra, I don't even have to go to the gym to stay fit. This is the secret of how I stay fit, lots and lots of fishing...

This is going to be a very short post.

Trip to Bukit Genting

Petrol: RM20.00
Food: RM100.00
Baskin Robbins: RM18.00

The 3 hours at Bukit Genting
[Fun]
The photos taken at Bukit Genting
[Precious]
The smile on everyone's face, Especially yours...
[PRICELESS]

| OVERWHELMED | Is there a better word to replace it? What about EXTREMELY OVERWHELMED? That is the feeling I had today, on my b'day, my 19th b'day. If there is anything that I will ever forget, today, October 30 2008, will be the last thing to go kaput from my mind. How do you express yourself? Being 19, your college friends, important to note that they are all young ladies, beautiful young ladies in fact, standing in front of your house gate, singing a b'day song, holding a cake, greeting you with a smile... and you on the other hand, had no such thought of celebrating your b'day at all, partly naked, trying your hardest to meet your assignment dateline. I am out of words actually. Speechless in fact...

How do you deal with such situation? To be honest, I am touched. Truly touched. It made me realize that having friends is the best thing you can ask for in life. All this while, I have to confess that my close to 2 years in college, I have never been in any "groups". I mix and befriend everyone in college which makes me feel that I don't belong anywhere. As a matter of fact, I feel lonely. Well tonight really changed my whole perception about my life. My plain and dull, can I say boring fashion/clothes I wear in college, its always a pair of jeans and a T-shirt that doesn't makes me stand out among the crowds. My nerdish look with that orange-colored frame spectacles, I am always perceived as a book worm, and again, plain, dull and boring. I have to thank God, for God's gift of knowledge to me was the only defense I have again such society. Well, I live my life my way... as always I was never a trend setter but neither was I a conformist to what is generally accepted.

I thank God tonight. This seldom and rarely happens to me. I wouldn't feel ashamed if I did say that I almost cried because the real fact is I almost cried. There is nothing wrong with a guy my age crying. Any guys who are not moved by such stunt, singing loudly in front of your house gate, wishing you Happy Birthday, I mean are they such people in this world? They must have a heart made of stone, they are probably too cool, icing cool in fact. I know I am being very expressive now, very emotional involved, but learn to accept this. This is the normal CK. A CK that talk nonsense all the time, and I would be lucky if you guys understand half the thing I wrote here.

I am very blessed. My b'day wish actually materialize. I actually did for once in my 19 years, celebrated my b'day with a group of friends. I enjoyed their company. And just for that little extra, those who planned it, I am amazed. To pull such trick on me, to actually try to make my day special, I will not hesitate if I have to take a bullet for them. Going back to those who did came and made my day special, that very person, in a green tee, you're simply amazing, truly mesmerizing, absolutely captivating and purely fascinating. You deserve it. In fact I did told one of my friend, when you were in the computer lab, I couldn't see anyone but you; you were there on a white shirt and that is even before I entered the lab. Okay, take it as joke but I am not blind. I can see things even though I need the help from a pair of spectacle. Say what you guys wanna say. I couldn't be bothered anymore.

Somehow, there is this deep feeling of regret in me. Why didn't I notice her earlier? Knowing that this could very well be my final b'day that we can celebrate together, I don't know how I can face that very day, the day she is leaving to pursuit her dreams. I am not a self-centred guy. I will never hold back someone, even if she means everything, even if she meant the world to me. That would never be called love. That is being unfair to everyone. Have you ever thought that if she has the same feeling? Does she wanna stay, obviously not. I mean I have no right to hold her back just because I couldn't get there. Sigh, I am ... I ... I admit, if you ever need to feel how does it feel like to love someone, you only need one girl and just once and it is more than enough for a lifetime and that very girl i meant, is definitely her. You will always have that very special place in my heart. Just so you know, if this is fake, then nothing is real.

Throwing such surprises for me tonight, I did once joke that I may suffer a heart attack and pass out. Well, seems like instead of me fainting, it has affected me emotionally and psychologically which leads me to blog about this. I am a changed man after tonight. Tonight, I made a vow, to always continue to be who I am, who I want to be, and to just stay original being CK. I don't have to change the way I talk, the way I socialize just to fit into the society. My friends showed me proof tonight. Anyway, fear not, for there is always tomorrow. Tomorrow, an adventure for four of my lucky friends, three friends and one which I regard as more than friend. I wouldn't know if you are reading this, but if you are, I do believe you know my feelings for you. And... a big surprise is heading your way to. So just be prepared......

Life just can't get any busier than this. My assignments are piling up. My presentation is reaching its due date. It doesn't seem like me as the typical CK seldom complain about his assignments and presentation. Sigh... guess I get tired to. Makes me realize that I am just a human and not a machine.

So, I just have to blog about this. For about 2 years in my diploma in business, I have never EVER skip a lecture on purpose. In fact, I have never EVER been absent for any lectures before... but that is until today. Hahaha. Today, I can proudly say that I have been mischievous and I have skip one lecture, at least once in my college life. Well, I may be 2 years late in skipping lectures but there is always a first time for everything; LOL. Anyway, I got the news from my classmates that the lecture was plain dull and boring (as usual). Hahaha. So I guess I didn't missed much also.

So you guys are probably wondering where was I and what I was doing. Well, I was working (wasn't sleeping) . I am actually a temporary worker for a company that I won't reveal its name. The job is a data entry clerk. Okay Okay, I know I disappoint you guys as you were probably thinking I am holding some important position, but what do expect from me? Come on, lower down your expectation. I have yet to complete my diploma. Give me a few more years but anyway, let's not talk about my future. I don't even know where I am heading to after diploma, do I?

YEAH!!! I am about 19. I am 19 in 3 more hours. How does it feel? Errr... nothing special. I don't feel older, weaker nor slower. As a matter of fact, I feel more aggressive, more energetic and a lot more zestful. Age is not slowing me down. Guess I won't be slowed down until I am what, 60 maybe 65? That is if I live way past 50. For now, I have a long journey to explore, more things to learn and discover. Okay got to go get some rest now. Until my next post, this is CK, 3 hours before he is 19. Hahahaha....