My mind is total mess now.
I need to express myself.
What hurts the most? Is it the feeling of breaking up with someone or the feeling of seeing your loved ones leaving with someone else? Knowing that you're committed, but the other party just wouldn't give a you chance. Or he/she did gave you a chance, but you didn't take it seriously. Really wanting to love and cherish him/her for the rest of your life yet you failed? Seeing a hope that there will be a future with that guy/girl but only to live on to know that the hope was just a dream, and what is worse is that drowning yourself in a pool of tears looking at your hope being dash. Every sight of him/her with another guy/girl; it's equal if not worse compared to the every cuts on your already bruised heart.
Sometimes, I feel that it's no longer worth fighting for. Nothing is worth my struggle, what more my effort. At times, I feel like giving up but my "never say die" and stubborn attitude is not helping at all. Besides, it has always been my principle to finish what I've started. As we all know, everything that has a beginning must have an end. It is just the matter of time. I know it's going to be difficult for me. Yet, I blame no one for I was the one who made the decisions, I was the one who came looking for trouble. But there is one thing that arouses my curiosity. If there is one thing I wanna know, I wanna know how you feel. If you're not moved at all, then I guess I am just a total failure, in fact the biggest failure in life for that just shows that I haven't given it my all.
Our past is really never far from us. Granted the right circumstances, our past is just like yesterday. The wounds that once bruised our heart was still as fresh; the same is to be said about the everlasting memories of the past, they too are still fresh. Nevertheless, things definitely had changed as time passes by. The thing that wounded me back then was the thought of me having to "give in"... and at the same give up... and move on... Now, it's a whole different story. Now, the thing that wound me is the sight of you suffering. I constantly ask myself if I had contributed to your suffering. What if I was persistent? What if I've pushed it? I guess there is too many "what if" here... All and all, if I say I am not moved or provoked, I must be lying.
I wanna learn. And I assure you I am a good learner. But I guess no one can teach me. I think I just have to learn it the hard way and that my friends... is through failure... and more failures... before I have grown so mature one day, I look back at what I wrote here today, and have a big laugh at myself.
I am in total mess now. No beginning, no ending... just a gloomy future...
I need to express myself.
What hurts the most? Is it the feeling of breaking up with someone or the feeling of seeing your loved ones leaving with someone else? Knowing that you're committed, but the other party just wouldn't give a you chance. Or he/she did gave you a chance, but you didn't take it seriously. Really wanting to love and cherish him/her for the rest of your life yet you failed? Seeing a hope that there will be a future with that guy/girl but only to live on to know that the hope was just a dream, and what is worse is that drowning yourself in a pool of tears looking at your hope being dash. Every sight of him/her with another guy/girl; it's equal if not worse compared to the every cuts on your already bruised heart.
Sometimes, I feel that it's no longer worth fighting for. Nothing is worth my struggle, what more my effort. At times, I feel like giving up but my "never say die" and stubborn attitude is not helping at all. Besides, it has always been my principle to finish what I've started. As we all know, everything that has a beginning must have an end. It is just the matter of time. I know it's going to be difficult for me. Yet, I blame no one for I was the one who made the decisions, I was the one who came looking for trouble. But there is one thing that arouses my curiosity. If there is one thing I wanna know, I wanna know how you feel. If you're not moved at all, then I guess I am just a total failure, in fact the biggest failure in life for that just shows that I haven't given it my all.
Our past is really never far from us. Granted the right circumstances, our past is just like yesterday. The wounds that once bruised our heart was still as fresh; the same is to be said about the everlasting memories of the past, they too are still fresh. Nevertheless, things definitely had changed as time passes by. The thing that wounded me back then was the thought of me having to "give in"... and at the same give up... and move on... Now, it's a whole different story. Now, the thing that wound me is the sight of you suffering. I constantly ask myself if I had contributed to your suffering. What if I was persistent? What if I've pushed it? I guess there is too many "what if" here... All and all, if I say I am not moved or provoked, I must be lying.
I wanna learn. And I assure you I am a good learner. But I guess no one can teach me. I think I just have to learn it the hard way and that my friends... is through failure... and more failures... before I have grown so mature one day, I look back at what I wrote here today, and have a big laugh at myself.
I am in total mess now. No beginning, no ending... just a gloomy future...
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