I don't even know why am I blogging now. Exam is just around the corner (in one week time) yet I am still in relaxation mode. Here I am, writing nonsense about myself. For God's sake, I should be studying now but something just bothers me. May I ask why must it happen now? Am I not worried about exam? The apparent answer is no. I am worried but then my mind gets distracted and there goes all my attention needed to revise for the upcoming exam.
Life is full of choices. We make up our mind and it is just too difficult for us to turn back and change our decision. Approximately 6 months ago, I went through what I may say the darkest moments of my life. I had no one to turn to, no one to lean on and worse, I lost my sense of direction. That very moment, I thought I learned my lesson. But I guess I was being too naive....
Once a while, you meet people in your life. While some may not have significant effects on your life, others create a whole lot of impact making them far more important that anyone else. Luck could be the only reason that explains why we meet them. For me, I couldn't be more thankful for I meet that someone when I was at the lowest point of my life. Nothing much has changed though. Perhaps fate decided that things weren't suppose to change at all. Anyhow, should I be glad that there was no changes? Frankly, I don't even have an answer myself...
Giving up was never easy. That was why it took me so long to let go in the past. Growing up in a somewhat discriminatory environment taught me that I have got to be tough and resilient and I thought I was tough and resilient. Nonetheless, these past few days proved me wrong. I didn't wanted to give up. I hold true to the saying "never say die". In fact, I have not given up. But giving in? What is giving in? Never have I encounter such words in this matter but who cares anyway. If giving up is gonna be tough, giving in is even tougher I guess.
What is the measure of love? Before that, what is love?, a frequently asked question by those who suffers from unrequited love. How do we measure one's love for another human being? Hmm... to anyone who has the answer, do share with me. If love is to be measured by the wealth you own, then what about those who were married in the kampungs and how do you explain why their marriage lasted so long. If it is to be measured by the things that is sacrificed for him/her, how do you explain love at first sight?
The most important question we have to constantly ask and remind ourself, what was it that made us fell in love with him/her. Smart people give reasons such as, 'oh, she is beautiful', 'she is smart' and lame excuses such as 'she was the one who was attracted to me first'. For those who are drowned in love, they places them above everything else, likened them to god and goddess. Back to the question, I don't even know why I fell in love with her. I guess you don't need a reason to love someone. There is just no reasoning in love... it is just not some math equation.
A statement I have to make here. It was not a competition neither it is now. It doesn't work that way, at least I believe so. There is no winner or loser. She is not the winning trophy. There is no first prize or consolation prize. Enough fighting and comparing. Comparison makes the whole effort seem fake, untrue and dishonest. Conclusion, I am done. I am done fighting, done struggling. Mind you though, this is not the end. Done fighting doesn't mean I gave up. Done struggling doesn't mean I give in.
Life is full of choices. We make up our mind and it is just too difficult for us to turn back and change our decision. Approximately 6 months ago, I went through what I may say the darkest moments of my life. I had no one to turn to, no one to lean on and worse, I lost my sense of direction. That very moment, I thought I learned my lesson. But I guess I was being too naive....
Once a while, you meet people in your life. While some may not have significant effects on your life, others create a whole lot of impact making them far more important that anyone else. Luck could be the only reason that explains why we meet them. For me, I couldn't be more thankful for I meet that someone when I was at the lowest point of my life. Nothing much has changed though. Perhaps fate decided that things weren't suppose to change at all. Anyhow, should I be glad that there was no changes? Frankly, I don't even have an answer myself...
Giving up was never easy. That was why it took me so long to let go in the past. Growing up in a somewhat discriminatory environment taught me that I have got to be tough and resilient and I thought I was tough and resilient. Nonetheless, these past few days proved me wrong. I didn't wanted to give up. I hold true to the saying "never say die". In fact, I have not given up. But giving in? What is giving in? Never have I encounter such words in this matter but who cares anyway. If giving up is gonna be tough, giving in is even tougher I guess.
What is the measure of love? Before that, what is love?, a frequently asked question by those who suffers from unrequited love. How do we measure one's love for another human being? Hmm... to anyone who has the answer, do share with me. If love is to be measured by the wealth you own, then what about those who were married in the kampungs and how do you explain why their marriage lasted so long. If it is to be measured by the things that is sacrificed for him/her, how do you explain love at first sight?
The most important question we have to constantly ask and remind ourself, what was it that made us fell in love with him/her. Smart people give reasons such as, 'oh, she is beautiful', 'she is smart' and lame excuses such as 'she was the one who was attracted to me first'. For those who are drowned in love, they places them above everything else, likened them to god and goddess. Back to the question, I don't even know why I fell in love with her. I guess you don't need a reason to love someone. There is just no reasoning in love... it is just not some math equation.
A statement I have to make here. It was not a competition neither it is now. It doesn't work that way, at least I believe so. There is no winner or loser. She is not the winning trophy. There is no first prize or consolation prize. Enough fighting and comparing. Comparison makes the whole effort seem fake, untrue and dishonest. Conclusion, I am done. I am done fighting, done struggling. Mind you though, this is not the end. Done fighting doesn't mean I gave up. Done struggling doesn't mean I give in.
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