I am totally not in a great shape. Before that, allow me to apologize for filling up this blog with negativity. By all means, I am not a negative person but the things that are happening to me lately is really forcing me to think twice, filling myself up with negative emotions.
How can life get any worse than this? I have never felt so down until now. To feel so pushed aside, it was as if I am just someone ordinary or perhaps I am just another random guy. Come on, you don't have to do that right? I am not gonna mention it here but I am sure a few of my friends would know what I am referring to. Anyway, the counting ends. It is 3 weeks and 5 days. To some, it may be a short time period but I can assure you, it felt as if it was my longest month...
As if I don't have enough problem to deal with, I gotta face my WORST exam results by far. I was expecting my results to be a whole lot better but reality just struck me and proves to me that as always, I am just a dreamer. Being one of the few active students in class, a lot of my friends were expecting me to score well but sad to say, I am just gonna disappoint them. Damn it. My CGPA is going to flunk so badly, it is as if it was dragged down by a 10 tonne weight. And HELL YEA, I was dreaming to be the best KDU student... I think I gotta wake myself up as soon as possible.
I fail in my life. And I thought I could rely on what I do best, my studies. Life is just unfair. I fail in both my life and my studies. I am the biggest failure.
It's new year's eve today. Soon, the year 2008 is going to be over and marks the start of year 2009. I wish someone can tell me what to do or what more can I do. I plan to ditch all my sadness tonight. I hope I can do it. I hope I can find that courage to let go. Nobody said it was going to be easy. Meanwhile, the only thing I am sure that will happen is that I have been and will continue to cry myself to sleep, and drag myself off bed until I am able to let go of this pain ...
How can life get any worse than this? I have never felt so down until now. To feel so pushed aside, it was as if I am just someone ordinary or perhaps I am just another random guy. Come on, you don't have to do that right? I am not gonna mention it here but I am sure a few of my friends would know what I am referring to. Anyway, the counting ends. It is 3 weeks and 5 days. To some, it may be a short time period but I can assure you, it felt as if it was my longest month...
As if I don't have enough problem to deal with, I gotta face my WORST exam results by far. I was expecting my results to be a whole lot better but reality just struck me and proves to me that as always, I am just a dreamer. Being one of the few active students in class, a lot of my friends were expecting me to score well but sad to say, I am just gonna disappoint them. Damn it. My CGPA is going to flunk so badly, it is as if it was dragged down by a 10 tonne weight. And HELL YEA, I was dreaming to be the best KDU student... I think I gotta wake myself up as soon as possible.
I fail in my life. And I thought I could rely on what I do best, my studies. Life is just unfair. I fail in both my life and my studies. I am the biggest failure.
It's new year's eve today. Soon, the year 2008 is going to be over and marks the start of year 2009. I wish someone can tell me what to do or what more can I do. I plan to ditch all my sadness tonight. I hope I can do it. I hope I can find that courage to let go. Nobody said it was going to be easy. Meanwhile, the only thing I am sure that will happen is that I have been and will continue to cry myself to sleep, and drag myself off bed until I am able to let go of this pain ...
An excerpt from Sam Lee - A Brief Encounter
I love someone, I love her until I was a little drunk
Please tell me who are you, for you're able to make me become inconsistent
You're not tired, yet I've loved you to the point of exhaustion
I've never risked my own safety and sacrificed my all for anybody
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