Madness struck me

If you start to suspect or feel that the feelings or affections for you has started to fade, then I just have to be cruel and say its faded. Well, feelings and affections... if its from me, it just doesn't fade that easily. I forced it to fade. I have said it and I am saying it again, I have just got to be cruel. I LOVE you too much... I just can't lose you... But I don't want to be the one who begins to weep and cry. I don't wanna be stupid. I can't wait for reality to struck me in the face then only I wake up. I have to wake up now. Sooner or later, I have to. Why now? TIME. It takes time. How? Its not easy and I don't even know how. I'm praying that it will just be over soon. Nevertheless, you will always have that special place in my heart and don't you ever doubt that. If I had the chance, I won't do this. This is not me. This is not CK. I wish I have the chance yet sad to say, I am under privileged. It's not something which I asked for, it is just my life... my fate... that I won't be able to fly. I am happy you are flying. The future that lies ahead of you... nothing is worth for you to look back and reminisce about the past. Well, I wish you luck. Guess I just not good enough for you... You just deserve better. I hope you can understand me. I am not a normal typical guy. For God's sake, I wasn't born with a good memory and being observant of fine specific details for nothing. If its for something, its for remembering you probably for the rest of my life, not forgetting those times we spent together even though we were just friends. Anyway, why am I even writing this. I am just being stupid again.

Something else. I am not doing anything but I know that even if I try, all my efforts will just go un-notice. Who am I? I am nobody. I would trade my life for something else if I could. Forgive me God for being so discontented with my life. I just can't help it. I always chasing after something that I won't reach. I am always in over my head. Hell, I am always emo.

My friend just mentioned something to me. She was somehow facing a similar problem. She asked me, why is it that the ones I want doesn't come to me but the ones I never thought of came to me? I couldn't answer her for I am facing the same situation. Now I ask you guys. Does anyone has an answer?

Well, I guess that's it. I am feeling much better now after blasting it all out. Perhaps I should just move on with life without thinking much. Sigh... how easy is that if you can't shake off something that was with you, in you for quite sometime. Someone has just got to listen to Whitney Houston and George Michael - If I Told You That.

(if I told you that) I wanted to see you
(and if I told you that) I beg to please you
(if I told you that) Ill always keep you
What would you say (if I told you that)

Now tell me how you feel if I told
You that I had feelings for you
And would it be so wrong to say
Whats on my mind
I'm sorry I have to
We were friends but with time
What I feel inside for you has changed
But Id give up on love, if I thought
That it was untrue for you

(if I told you that) I wanted to see you
(and if I told you that) I beg to please you
(if I told you that) Ill always keep you
What would you say (if I told you that)

I know that we were just friends
But what if I decide to bring somethings in
I hope it wont offend the trust
We have cause I dont want this to end
I you think that well lose what we have
Then Id just rather stay (rather stay) the same
(Id rather stay the same)
Cause I dont wanna choose
Between two of the most precious things to me
(tell me)

(if I told you that) I wanted to see you
(and if I told you that) I beg to please you
(if I told you that) Ill always keep you
What would you say (if I told you that)

If we take this chance and extend
To each other romance
I hope it would be
The right thing for you and me

(if I told you that) I wanted to see you
(and if I told you that) I beg to please you
(if I told you that) Ill always keep you
What would you say (if I told you that)

Would you be there for me
Could you dare to hold me
Will my feelings leave me
Lonely if I told you

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Just a thought

Sometimes, the person you fall for isn't ready to catch you. Sometimes the person who is ready to catch you is not one you'd fall for.

Life is not fair. We often bring misery to those who care for us and they are the ones who cry for us. On the contrary, we often cry for those who won't and never will care for us. Shame as it is, these people who always have our care and concern, that very 'special' place in our heart, won't and never will shed a tear for us. [June 11]

On our quest to achieve a distant dream, we tend to miss out on life and all the better things that are within our reach. [June 23]

It takes a lot more than just love to make a relationship work. [June 25]

About Me

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A student who is constantly learning and not tired of learning. Learning from lecturers, life lessons from friends and personal experience. I love bikes. I enjoy listening to music. I like fishing. Not the typical outgoing teenager, but nothing special.

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