I am totally not in a great shape. Before that, allow me to apologize for filling up this blog with negativity. By all means, I am not a negative person but the things that are happening to me lately is really forcing me to think twice, filling myself up with negative emotions.

How can life get any worse than this? I have never felt so down until now. To feel so pushed aside, it was as if I am just someone ordinary or perhaps I am just another random guy. Come on, you don't have to do that right? I am not gonna mention it here but I am sure a few of my friends would know what I am referring to. Anyway, the counting ends. It is 3 weeks and 5 days. To some, it may be a short time period but I can assure you, it felt as if it was my longest month...

As if I don't have enough problem to deal with, I gotta face my WORST exam results by far. I was expecting my results to be a whole lot better but reality just struck me and proves to me that as always, I am just a dreamer. Being one of the few active students in class, a lot of my friends were expecting me to score well but sad to say, I am just gonna disappoint them. Damn it. My CGPA is going to flunk so badly, it is as if it was dragged down by a 10 tonne weight. And HELL YEA, I was dreaming to be the best KDU student... I think I gotta wake myself up as soon as possible.

I fail in my life. And I thought I could rely on what I do best, my studies. Life is just unfair. I fail in both my life and my studies. I am the biggest failure.

It's new year's eve today. Soon, the year 2008 is going to be over and marks the start of year 2009. I wish someone can tell me what to do or what more can I do. I plan to ditch all my sadness tonight. I hope I can do it. I hope I can find that courage to let go. Nobody said it was going to be easy. Meanwhile, the only thing I am sure that will happen is that I have been and will continue to cry myself to sleep, and drag myself off bed until I am able to let go of this pain ...

An excerpt from Sam Lee - A Brief Encounter

I love someone, I love her until I was a little drunk
Please tell me who are you, for you're able to make me become inconsistent
You're not tired, yet I've loved you to the point of exhaustion
I've never risked my own safety and sacrificed my all for anybody

My mind is total mess now.

I need to express myself.

What hurts the most? Is it the feeling of breaking up with someone or the feeling of seeing your loved ones leaving with someone else? Knowing that you're committed, but the other party just wouldn't give a you chance. Or he/she did gave you a chance, but you didn't take it seriously. Really wanting to love and cherish him/her for the rest of your life yet you failed? Seeing a hope that there will be a future with that guy/girl but only to live on to know that the hope was just a dream, and what is worse is that drowning yourself in a pool of tears looking at your hope being dash. Every sight of him/her with another guy/girl; it's equal if not worse compared to the every cuts on your already bruised heart.

Sometimes, I feel that it's no longer worth fighting for. Nothing is worth my struggle, what more my effort. At times, I feel like giving up but my "never say die" and stubborn attitude is not helping at all. Besides, it has always been my principle to finish what I've started. As we all know, everything that has a beginning must have an end. It is just the matter of time. I know it's going to be difficult for me. Yet, I blame no one for I was the one who made the decisions, I was the one who came looking for trouble. But there is one thing that arouses my curiosity. If there is one thing I wanna know, I wanna know how you feel. If you're not moved at all, then I guess I am just a total failure, in fact the biggest failure in life for that just shows that I haven't given it my all.

Our past is really never far from us. Granted the right circumstances, our past is just like yesterday. The wounds that once bruised our heart was still as fresh; the same is to be said about the everlasting memories of the past, they too are still fresh. Nevertheless, things definitely had changed as time passes by. The thing that wounded me back then was the thought of me having to "give in"... and at the same give up... and move on... Now, it's a whole different story. Now, the thing that wound me is the sight of you suffering. I constantly ask myself if I had contributed to your suffering. What if I was persistent? What if I've pushed it? I guess there is too many "what if" here... All and all, if I say I am not moved or provoked, I must be lying.

I wanna learn. And I assure you I am a good learner. But I guess no one can teach me. I think I just have to learn it the hard way and that my friends... is through failure... and more failures... before I have grown so mature one day, I look back at what I wrote here today, and have a big laugh at myself.

I am in total mess now. No beginning, no ending... just a gloomy future...

Hi guys... I am pretty bored now. It's a public holiday today and I am left with nothing to do except sitting here in front of my laptop, blogging about my not so extraordinary life; LOL...

Last weekend was kinda packed. It was my cousin's wedding event and as usual, I gotta throw in some help. Hmm... what a loving couple they are. The whole wedding thing just suits the season now, the season of happiness. Sigh, the whole wedding thingy makes me dream a lot; hahaha. CK is a dreamer; LOL. It makes me wonder, when and where will my wedding take place and most importantly, who is the bride. All those thoughts, arghhh.. it just eats myself up. But I have got to say, the whole wedding event does have a magic that makes you feel happy and cheerful, a magic that I believe none can explain.

Next, Coffee Island, the night of December 28, 2008. Truth be spoken, I believe my friend saw with her own eyes now the other girl that wrecked her whole relationship. There is nothing for the guy to hide now. There is nothing he can deny now. Sigh, all and all, I just feel that it was not worthwhile for my friend. Hope she will recover soon. A piece of advice to her and myself, sometimes what we think is best for us and what we want may turn out to be the opposite. Both of us have just gotta learn to accept changes.

Finally, my plan to stop counting tonight is TOTALLY WRECKED. One of my friend couldn't make it and that has caused the plan to be cancelled. Ishh!!! Haiz... I guess everything is fated. What are hopes for if they are to dashed over and over again...

Merry Christmas everyone...

Updates...

Last night wasn't as crazy compared to the usual nights we had before in the previous years or during our friends birthday. Hmm... I wonder why??? There were a lot of people celebrating but somehow, it seems as if something was missing. The atmosphere wasn't as happening as before. Sigh, could the current economy recession be a contributory factor???

Hmm... I did keep to my promise for once at least. Hehehe.... I was a good boy last night. I didn't drink. Hahaha... I guess I gotta thank someone for making me kept to my promise. However at the same time, I swear to God, given the chance and the strength, I will beat the shit out of this guy. I was planning to have lots of fun at the beach but luck just wasn't on my side (or maybe luck was on my side). Why did I bump into him??? Fated??? Sigh, I am asking too many questions.

Anyway, I was pretty pissed off that is for sure. Somethings never change while other things changed a lot. Other things completely changed. If my memory serves me right, last year for the same occassion, my friend was with her friend together celebrating but this time around, I did not see my friend. Ish!!! I don't wish to go any deeper. I have got to apologize to someone for being too nosy; I should have just walked away and mind my own business. Sorry, I really didn't mean to ruin your night but I really felt that you should know about it.

Sigh, what a great night ruined by what a small incident. Nevertheless, a lot of my friends are not in good shape too. I just know that nothing last forever. A very close friend of mine had just recently became a victim of relationship problem. Well, he got it pretty badly. Being in a relationship, loving and cherishing this girl for close to 2 years, and I thought they were going to be successful; but who knows... who knows... who could ever predicted that one silent night, the girl rang him up and just thrash things out with him. The girl was pretty mean (that was what I heard) to just tell my friend, after close to 2 long years that she has finally lost all her feelings for my friend. Damn it... Girls, you can't live with them... but can't live without them...

Alright... I think I am done with those emo stories. For God's sake, it's suppose to be the season of happiness. Hmm... new year is in a few days time. I lam ooking forward to that party on new year's eve. Yeah!!! I hope I can enjoy myself then. By the way, this coming December 29, I hope I can stop counting after that day... Hopefully... I will keep you guys posted...

Hi guys, CK is back again and I think I have a few things to share with guys.

First and foremost, my bike almost broke down again. Almost but just not yet, hehehe. Sigh, just like old people, old bikes are also more prone to illness and diseases. Nonetheless, the difference is that bikes are just machines... a human life is much more valuable(like obviously, duh!!!). Anyway, talking about how my bike almost succumb to illness, it was all due to a small rubber O-ring on the radiator. The bike was leaking coolants all the way to the workshop. I was so afraid the bike might just stall mid-way or blown up into pieces, hahaha. Hmm... and I thought the repair would burn a hole in my pocket, luckily the mechanic just charged me RM10. Luckily; LOL.

The second thing is something I am not proud of. Last weekend was pretty messed up for me. I told myself that I just gotta keep my cool but somehow I lost it. Damn it!!! F@#% it anyway. Idiot deserves it. Who ask him to come asking for it. I did warn him not to provoke me again but he just didn't want to believe me. Fine. Now, he is paying for it; a swollen eye. LOL. Nevertheless, the issue is over. I don't wish to talk about the past no more. Let bygones be bygones.

The third thing is that I am pretty messed up myself. Hmm... a quote from Goo Goo Dolls song titled Name, "scars are souvenirs you never lose, the past is never far". Well, I agree with quote and it actually reflects on my real life, at least it reflects the situation now. Mind you, I am using the word "past", meaning it is the past, history. My past was never far. Anyhow, I gotta keep a distance unless I am left with no options. So far so good I can say.

The forth and maybe the most common thing is that, I am still counting. It has been close to 2 weeks and 5 days since I last met her face to face. I know why people call me dumb cause her house is just like maybe less than 5 KM from my house. Everyone said I can just drive over to her house. Well, I don't think they really understand. It's not the distance. It's not how far. Even if it is a matter of distance, I am pretty sure no one can measure it, for there is no metric unit for it.

Lastly, it's Christmas eve today. Wow, talking about how fast time flies. Another year is going to be over. Hmm... no Christmas wishes this year. Duh!!! let's be realistic. The world's economy is facing a recession now and our Santa is probably feeling the pinch too; LOL. Back to being serious, I think I am going to be pretty insane tonight, hehehe. That was how I celebrated it last year and considering that I am celebrating it the same way this time around, things wouldn't change that much. I will keep you guys informed of the progress. That's it for now... back to work...

Hello to everyone. Today has been quite a fun day for a motorcycle geek like me, hehehe....

A few days ago, I can't help but to notice that the carburettors on my bike was leaking petrol. Damn it, haiz... I should have expected this considering the bike is just a few years shy of my age. To be exact, the bike is already registered for 15 years, but still going strong. Nevertheless, you want to ride the bike, you have got to maintain and service the bike. To be honest, I think I made a bad choice preferring bikes over cars but it's too late to change my mind. Anyway, I am very satisfied with the bike, minus the maintaining and servicing part which burned a hole in my pocket; LOL.

At first, I wanted to have my bike serviced at Cartoon's shop, but for Gods sake he is one hell of a blood sucker. I took my bike to his shop and ask him for some suggestions. Well, he suggested that I get the carburettors cleaned and serviced. Hmm... I am no mechanic but I guess I have got to agree with him that is in getting the carburettors cleaned. But there is where the agreement ends. I asked him how much will it cost me to get the carburettors serviced and guess how much he said, a whopping RM85!!! Geez... I am already in a "tight" situation lately and you are asking for RM85 for a job that maybe take you an hour and cost you nothing at all? I think I will pass...

This has left me with no choice but to go to Bulldog's shop (I don't like Jessie's place nor those big shops). Well, I don't really like the mechanic there but they are more friendly; as a matter of fact they are more pocket-friendly. The mechanic doesn't do a very thorough job and most of the time, he will recommend you cheap parts and accessories. I HATE him for recommending dad to fix that Duro tyre now fitted on the front wheel. Anyhow, he says he will charge me RM60 which I tried to negotiate with him and finally we came to an agreement, RM50. Yeah... let's get our hands dirty.

We disassembled the tank, the airbox and finally the carburettors. Wow... I have to say the carburettor on my bike (twin carbs) is pretty huge. Hmm... but thank god they are rather frugal on the fuel. Later on he disassemble the carburettors and cleaned them, sealed them and fix them back. No more leakage. Done... but there goes my RM50. Somehow after the service, I felt that the bike had better response and was smoother than ever. Okay-lah, it was worth spending that RM50.

Next... For those who had seen my bike up close, you sure can't help but to notice how THICK the seat was. Duh... the previous owner certainly knew something about comfort, adding at least 3 inches thickness on the seat. Haiz... sorry, it's not to my liking. After servicing the carburettors, I went around town to find someone to help me do the seats. And again, I met another blood sucker. Hmm... I told him that I needed to get the seat back to its original shape and thickness, and to rewrap the seat. Guess how much he said? RM90. I was like, "What??? RM90???"

I really don't get people nowadays. Why must they charge young teenagers like me so expensive? Do they think that all young teenagers are stupid or I am stupid? Why on earth do you need RM90 to reshape and rewrap the seat? It's not that I am using some expensive alcantara to wrap my seat which I am sure you don't even have it even though if I wanted it. Fine. I continue searching until I bump into this shop, Yang Cushion somewhere in Perak Road. Well, the boss is very friendly and more importantly he was also like Bulldog's mechanic, pocket-friendly. He wanted to charge me RM60 to get it done and as usual, I negotiated with the guy and finally he agree on RM55. I have to say, he did quite an okay job. I was pretty satisfied. I have to say, being a lil' thick face and trying to find alternatives and negotiating saved me RM70. Now that makes a lot of difference to the damage done to my pocket. Hahaha...

Finally, my bike looks a lil' prettier/ more handsome now after reshaping the seat. But I still have a lot of things to do. Next most important thing that I am going to spend on the bike is investing on a set of good tyres, maybe from Metzeler or Bridgestone. It depends on my budget though. I may settle for a set of Maxxis. I've been doing a lot of research on this tyre manufacturer from Taiwan and so far, the reviews on their product has been quite satisfactory. But one thing is for sure, I am not gonna spend my hard-earned money on Duro's. NO WAY...

DONE. It took me half a day to get the whole thing done. I was rather tired when I reached home at 2 p.m. For your info, I slept at 3 a.m last night and woke up at 7.30 a.m. Hmm... what I did was a secret and shall remain as a secret. All and all, maybe I was thinking of something, or maybe someone. Without taking lunch, I lie down on my dad's reclining chair and I just doze off. I woke up at 5 p.m and here I am blogging about my activity for the day December 19, 2008. That's it for now. Until my next post, this is CK... a motorcycle geek... hehehehe...

Time to share with you guys another song, but... this time, it's an English song. Well it's not that I no longer listen to Chinese songs, I still am but this particular song is so nice. I heard it from Season 5 of One Tree Hill and I went through all the hassle just to find out the title of the song. Well, it doesn't stop there. It's pretty difficult to download this song from the net or any P2P apps such as Lime Wire and Frost Wire. Anyhow, I learned a few tricks from the net and managed to somehow steal the song. Hehehe...

Song title: You Fill My Heart
Artiste: Jason Walker

When I saw your face
It was like a space
In my heart was filled
It's like I knew
From the very start
That you were every other part of me

It's like I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
You fill my heart

Oh, love of mine
Why did it take so long to find
Your touch
Hope was never gone
Even though it took so long
To find you

Because I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
And I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
You fill my heart

And I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
And I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
And I have loved you since
From the moment when
Since time began
You fill my heart

Hmm... life for the past week was really quiet and dull. A few of my lucky friends had actually went for their vacation while some had try to earn some extra cash by working and others were so busy living their lives that they didn't even had time to get online. Sigh... how much I wished for the new semester to start now but not for it to end. Silly me, right???

Hmm... maybe I had less friends that I thought I had. The numbers of phone calls I received 2 weeks ago compared to the numbers of phone calls I received now is a clear evident. A sudden drop of almost 80%. Now that is remarkable; LOL. Anyway, I think I had forgotten to mention that there was also an 80% increase 2 weeks ago compared to the weeks before. Hahaha... I guess we'll call it even.

Hmm... I went fishing again yesterday. One thing is for sure, the fishes are back from their holidays. Hahaha. Well, it was kinda hot yesterday and I am kinda "fried"; LOL. Nevertheless, the sea was pretty calm and that is a good thing. I had to say yesterday was somewhat a lucky day. A torn up net, but 5 threadfins??? If it's not luck, then what was it... Hehehe. Coming back home with a chill box half filled with threadfins (not empty handed this time...) it felt good.

Hmm... back to college related matters. If I am not mistaken, the registration date for the Jan 09 semester is on the 30th and 31st of December. That was the info I got from Cik Aini. If you are interested to know more or want to reconfirm the date, do call the college. For the Aug 08 semester results, I am not too sure but I do believe that you will get your result on the registration date itself. That's it for now... Best of luck to everyone...

I confess that I am a workaholic. For this holiday, I had actually applied for the lab assistant job in KDU and I was accepted. Hmm... I may not earn much from it, but I did learn a lot from the job. Well, I started the job on Tuesday morning, being my first day on the job it was something like of a training. I learned about how the login system works, how the queueserver printing system works and how to scan documents for students. I admit, the job is pretty boring but I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

There is another thing that I have to confess. I hate Maybank. Maybank sucks. Working with KDU, I was required to have an account in Maybank in order for them to bank in my salary for me. I didn't have one, so I was asked to open an account with Maybank. Okay, I had just learn about the psychology of waiting in Services Marketing class and I know why waiting will feel much longer than they actually is. Fine. Well, is 1.5 hours waiting long enough? I was asked to wait for my turn and there was only 2 customers who came before me. I am wondering why the bank workers need 1.5 hours to handle 2 customers. For God's sake, it's ONLY 2 customers. Why do they need 45 minutes for one customer? Anyway, its done. I don't wanna talk about it anymore.

Not done yet. I still have one thing to confess. I love my bike. I just love it so much. Hmm.. how fast can a 650cc V-Twin go? 1st gear at 8500rpm, it reaches 80km/h, shift up and you're engaged with the second gear which brings you up to 120km/h, shift up again and you will be exceeding the speed limit and you can feel the torque all across the rev. Extra info to share with you, reaching 100km/h just takes about 4 secs. Not joking here. It is my first time experiencing such a broad torque curve on any motorcycle. Suddenly, I feel that small bikes are really so underpowered. Anyway, the fastest I ever went with the bike is 160km/h and damn it's fast. However speed kills. Someone, anyone please constantly remind me that I will get myself killed if I don't stop this madness and addiction to speed.

OKAY. Maybe I have one last thing to confess. Sorry, I promise this is the last one.

I miss her. It is just so difficult. It has been like almost a week, seven days and a hundred and sixty eight hours since I last saw her face to face. I am starting to think that if a week has become a time period which is so long, how am I gonna cope with it when she leaves and it is real soon before she leaves. Hmm... how can one fall and fall so deep, a question I ask myself every single day before sleep. Jokes or not, she is the first thing I think of every morning and the last thing that I think of before I sleep. One will ask, does she deserves it? Answer is YES. Ask me today, ask me tomorrow, ask me next week, next month, next year and the answer will always remain as YES, always and forever.

I end this post with a song to share with you guys. The title is Waiting For You, by Anson Hu.

Holidays are so boring... Haiz... Rotting at home...

Funny is, I guess it is holidays for the fishes too. I went fishing lately, but to my surprise, for once... I came back empty handed. EMPTY HANDED. I had been following my dad fishing for at least 5 years now and never once did I came back empty handed. Well, everything has its first time. Where has all the luck gone to??? Most importantly, where has all the fishes gone to... ? Please come back soon, LOL.

With no fishes to catch, fishing eventually becomes boring. In order to save myself from boredom, I resorted to digging for shellfish. I am not sure of the exact name in English, but I am damn sure the Malays call it siput remis and we Chinese just call is siput. So what did we do with the siput? Well, if there is one reason I love mum's cooking is because of this siput. Hehehe. She is so good at preparing it, thick soy sauce, lots of ginger and sugar... Yummy...

They are beautiful isn't it? They are yummy too... after it is cooked and prepared by mum, Hehehe

Mum is very active lately. She has been baking cake non-stop. 2 fruit cakes and 2 butter cakes in one week. All finished up within one week. Hmm... wondering why I can't get any fatter...

Today, she made some curry puffs and damn they are tasty. And they look beautiful too. So they say you gotta serve the eye first before the mouth... Hahaha... well take a look at the curry puffs... the pastry has a very unique shell-like design...

Yummy!!! I am so gonna gain weight this hols (hopefully)

I am deeply addicted to songs from Sam Lee now. I am officially not CK anymore... LOL.

This song is dedicated to someone. Hope that someone will get the message. Think carefully before you do anything, okay???

Sam Lee - Recently ( 李聖傑-最近 )

This song has a very very sad music video. It is about a girl who is so truly, madly and deeply in love with her boyfriend. One day, the girl found out that her boyfriend is cheating on her. Trying to salvage the severed relationship, the girl resorted to using her own body, betraying her own self to rescue her lost love by eternally possessing her boyfriend physically instead. Later on, the girl drugged her boyfriend and commit suicide and kill the boyfriend together with her.

Lyrics translated

Recently you didn't talk much
What? Why?
Is there any matter?
You are not happy
Heard that you are lonely recently
A bit distraught
A bit hasty
However, I cannot be on you side

I don't wish to give you everything of me.
I cannot be what you want me to be.
We are not meant for each other but we deny it.
On several occasion we cry for each other.
All day long like this, it's the beginning
I think all have ended long ago
Don't want to be bounded again
Don't want to suffer again
Next path will be better

Recently you didn't talk much
What? Why?
Is there any matter?
You are not happy
Heard that you are lonely recently
A bit distraught
A bit hasty
However, I cannot be on you side

I don't wish to give you everything of me.
I cannot be what you want me to be.
We are not meant for each other but we deny it.
On several occasion we cry for each other.
All day long like this, it's the beginning
I think all have ended long ago
Don't want to be bounded again
Don't want to suffer again
Next path will be better

Love I cannot give everything
I cannot be what you want me to be.
We are not meant for each other but we deny it.
On several occasion we cry for each other.
All day long like this, it’s the beginning
I think all have ended long ago
Don't want to be bounded again
Don't want to suffer again
Next path will be better

This time we can be very happy

A Chinese song to share with you guys... Try to grasp the meaning of the song if you can.

Sam Lee (Li Sheng Jie) - A Brief Encounter (Ca Jian Er Guo)

The lyrics of the song, translated..

I've loved someone, loved until I was a little drunk
Tell me who you are, to be able to make me become so unusual
You're not tired, yet I've loved you to the point of exhaustion
I've never risked my own safety and sacrificed my all for anybody
I'm standing at the equilibrium point, but I still feel it's a little dangerous
Maybe it's because I can't see and can only use my intuition/feelings

He's not a good man, and is not a good lover either
To me, we are just two people who had a brief encounter
There are so many good men out there; without him, life will still go on
I will no longer make you feel lonely, and I won't let you feel more hurt
Listen to me, you must learn how to live well
Even if the future has many wrongs, at least you'll have my greeting and my warmth, accompanying you through the days

Listen to me, you shouldn't do this
Don't look at me and say you already know what you should do
You feel pain, and I'm willing to bear the pain with you
As long as you're not afraid to get hurt, I'll accompany you no matter how difficult it gets
I'm standing at the equilibrium point, but I still feel it's a little dangerous
Maybe it's because I can't see and can only use my intuition/feelings

He's not a good man, and is not a good lover either
To me, we are just two people who had a brief encounter
There are so many good men out there; without him, life will still go on
I will no longer make you feel lonely, and I won't let you feel more hurt
Listen to me, you must learn how to live well
Even if the future has many wrongs, at least you'll have my greeting and my warmth, accompanying you through the days

He's not a good man, and is not a good lover either
To me, we are just two people who had a brief encounter
There are so many good men out there; without him, life will still go on
I will no longer make you feel lonely, and I won't let you feel more hurt
Listen to me, you must learn how to live well
Even if the future has many wrongs, at least you'll have my greeting and my warmth, accompanying you through the days

At last, the exam week is over. After a long and tiring battle with the exam paper, I can finally get the rest that is so ever needed. For your info, I am a guy who loves sleeping but for the past week, I have not been getting sufficient sleep. Maximum sleep that I had for a night in the past week is 5 hours if I am not mistaken. Sigh, I could still recall that one of the girls in college actually said that I was getting thinner and thinner and I think the insufficient sleep is the main culprit. Is that a good thing? Certainly not. LOL. Any thinner and I will be blown away by the winds...

Nevertheless, the end of exams means the beginning of the holidays. Some welcome it, others just don't know what to do with their holidays to a point where even some claimed that they will lose their sense of direction. Well, it doesn't make sense to me anyway. There are plenty of things to do for the holidays. And come on, haven't you guys forgot that you were complaining about being so tired handling all those assignments? Grab this opportunity to take some rest and maybe reflect back on the past. For those who are workaholics, you may grab this chance to gain some work experience and at the same time earn some extra cash...hehehe.

*** continue pt 2 ***

I noticed that I have changed a lot lately. Previously, I don't listen to chinese songs and needless to say, how would I even get addicted to it if I don't listen to them. Now, time has passed. Things have changed. I listen to chinese songs and I listen to the same song repeatedly for hours sometimes. Guess I am going nuts. I can't seem to figure out what was the reason that is causing this until... finally I think I got the answers.

Looking back in the past, once, there was this one individual that managed to change my perception about motorcycles. I was a very determined but stubborn guy in the past (and still is now) and I thought no one could ever easily change my perception or mindset. However, guess I wrong. That particular individual did manage to change my perception and attributing the same factor for this "addiction to chinese songs" problem, I am pretty sure someone has influenced me in some way in terms of my music and song selection.

Haiya, I am sure I don't have to mention who that someone is. Just take a guess and you already have the answer. No matter who that someone is; the change in my perception about motorcycles did not last long, maybe because that someone has become a chapter in my life. On the other hand, I feel that the change in my music and song selection will last long and even become permanent. Why? Maybe because this "someone" is not a chapter in my life. Maybe this "someone" is different. Maybe this "someone" is more important and significant...

Summary: there are TWO significant individuals in my life. One changed my perception about motorcycles, the other changed my view/perception about chinese songs. One shall remain as history, the other... is the present and I hope she will be the future. Anyway, hopes are just hopes and shall remain as hopes. As one of my ex-classmates did mention to me, if it is yours, you can't escape from it even if you want to...

It feels like ages since I last blog. Life is so busy nowadays. It's exam week and everyone is rushing about looking for tips and hints. Well, I got a complaint to make here. As if I don't have enough problem of my own, I still need to handle others' problem. Geez... I need a break. I need a vacation.

Exam weeks are often the ugliest week in college. Accusations are thrown blindly and a person's good image and reputation is tarnished. I pity one particular friend. Like she has said and explained to me, a promise is a promise. She kept to her promise, but keeping that promise meant that she would have to be selfish. Well, no one ever said the world is not a cruel place to be in. Survival of the fittest. You have to have your own initiative to do your "homework" or you will be left out. It is not right for you to blame anyone for not helping you...

Exam weeks are not exam weeks without arguments. People argue due to stress and burnout. You study and study and study, not realizing how much time you have spent studying yet nothing goes in. Then you get mad at every single thing. You get provoked by every small tiny matters. You start cursing people. People start cursing you back. Bam!!! You have an argument. Childish isn't it? You tell me-lah... Haiz...

Exam week is often the week that you see people lose weight and have black rings on their eyes. Burning the midnight oil and skipping meals just for the sake of covering every single subject, going through every single topic and subtopics. Is there a point? Well, it's difficult to say. I am not saying that last minute revision doesn't work. My point is that studying wasn't meant to be so difficult and demanding. Anyway, I rest my case, can't say much... Why? I am one of the victims too; LOL.

Tomorrow another paper, the next day two more papers. There goes one more semester, and there are two more sems to go. Holiday for a month, repeat A MONTH, 30 DAYS... What am I gonna do during the holidays??? Haiz...

Still am addicted to chinese songs. I guess there is no cure for it... Don't care la, not bothered anymore if I listen to chinese or english songs. Not related though, I AM THE ONLY PERSON/GUY IN PLANET EARTH THAT NEEDS A LIL' MORE CONFIDENCE TO SPEAK UP AND TELL HER WHAT I NEED TO TELL HER, AND THAT IS WHILE SHE IS STILL HERE. OR... I am gonna live my life filled with regrets...