| OVERWHELMED | Is there a better word to replace it? What about EXTREMELY OVERWHELMED? That is the feeling I had today, on my b'day, my 19th b'day. If there is anything that I will ever forget, today, October 30 2008, will be the last thing to go kaput from my mind. How do you express yourself? Being 19, your college friends, important to note that they are all young ladies, beautiful young ladies in fact, standing in front of your house gate, singing a b'day song, holding a cake, greeting you with a smile... and you on the other hand, had no such thought of celebrating your b'day at all, partly naked, trying your hardest to meet your assignment dateline. I am out of words actually. Speechless in fact...

How do you deal with such situation? To be honest, I am touched. Truly touched. It made me realize that having friends is the best thing you can ask for in life. All this while, I have to confess that my close to 2 years in college, I have never been in any "groups". I mix and befriend everyone in college which makes me feel that I don't belong anywhere. As a matter of fact, I feel lonely. Well tonight really changed my whole perception about my life. My plain and dull, can I say boring fashion/clothes I wear in college, its always a pair of jeans and a T-shirt that doesn't makes me stand out among the crowds. My nerdish look with that orange-colored frame spectacles, I am always perceived as a book worm, and again, plain, dull and boring. I have to thank God, for God's gift of knowledge to me was the only defense I have again such society. Well, I live my life my way... as always I was never a trend setter but neither was I a conformist to what is generally accepted.

I thank God tonight. This seldom and rarely happens to me. I wouldn't feel ashamed if I did say that I almost cried because the real fact is I almost cried. There is nothing wrong with a guy my age crying. Any guys who are not moved by such stunt, singing loudly in front of your house gate, wishing you Happy Birthday, I mean are they such people in this world? They must have a heart made of stone, they are probably too cool, icing cool in fact. I know I am being very expressive now, very emotional involved, but learn to accept this. This is the normal CK. A CK that talk nonsense all the time, and I would be lucky if you guys understand half the thing I wrote here.

I am very blessed. My b'day wish actually materialize. I actually did for once in my 19 years, celebrated my b'day with a group of friends. I enjoyed their company. And just for that little extra, those who planned it, I am amazed. To pull such trick on me, to actually try to make my day special, I will not hesitate if I have to take a bullet for them. Going back to those who did came and made my day special, that very person, in a green tee, you're simply amazing, truly mesmerizing, absolutely captivating and purely fascinating. You deserve it. In fact I did told one of my friend, when you were in the computer lab, I couldn't see anyone but you; you were there on a white shirt and that is even before I entered the lab. Okay, take it as joke but I am not blind. I can see things even though I need the help from a pair of spectacle. Say what you guys wanna say. I couldn't be bothered anymore.

Somehow, there is this deep feeling of regret in me. Why didn't I notice her earlier? Knowing that this could very well be my final b'day that we can celebrate together, I don't know how I can face that very day, the day she is leaving to pursuit her dreams. I am not a self-centred guy. I will never hold back someone, even if she means everything, even if she meant the world to me. That would never be called love. That is being unfair to everyone. Have you ever thought that if she has the same feeling? Does she wanna stay, obviously not. I mean I have no right to hold her back just because I couldn't get there. Sigh, I am ... I ... I admit, if you ever need to feel how does it feel like to love someone, you only need one girl and just once and it is more than enough for a lifetime and that very girl i meant, is definitely her. You will always have that very special place in my heart. Just so you know, if this is fake, then nothing is real.

Throwing such surprises for me tonight, I did once joke that I may suffer a heart attack and pass out. Well, seems like instead of me fainting, it has affected me emotionally and psychologically which leads me to blog about this. I am a changed man after tonight. Tonight, I made a vow, to always continue to be who I am, who I want to be, and to just stay original being CK. I don't have to change the way I talk, the way I socialize just to fit into the society. My friends showed me proof tonight. Anyway, fear not, for there is always tomorrow. Tomorrow, an adventure for four of my lucky friends, three friends and one which I regard as more than friend. I wouldn't know if you are reading this, but if you are, I do believe you know my feelings for you. And... a big surprise is heading your way to. So just be prepared......

Life just can't get any busier than this. My assignments are piling up. My presentation is reaching its due date. It doesn't seem like me as the typical CK seldom complain about his assignments and presentation. Sigh... guess I get tired to. Makes me realize that I am just a human and not a machine.

So, I just have to blog about this. For about 2 years in my diploma in business, I have never EVER skip a lecture on purpose. In fact, I have never EVER been absent for any lectures before... but that is until today. Hahaha. Today, I can proudly say that I have been mischievous and I have skip one lecture, at least once in my college life. Well, I may be 2 years late in skipping lectures but there is always a first time for everything; LOL. Anyway, I got the news from my classmates that the lecture was plain dull and boring (as usual). Hahaha. So I guess I didn't missed much also.

So you guys are probably wondering where was I and what I was doing. Well, I was working (wasn't sleeping) . I am actually a temporary worker for a company that I won't reveal its name. The job is a data entry clerk. Okay Okay, I know I disappoint you guys as you were probably thinking I am holding some important position, but what do expect from me? Come on, lower down your expectation. I have yet to complete my diploma. Give me a few more years but anyway, let's not talk about my future. I don't even know where I am heading to after diploma, do I?

YEAH!!! I am about 19. I am 19 in 3 more hours. How does it feel? Errr... nothing special. I don't feel older, weaker nor slower. As a matter of fact, I feel more aggressive, more energetic and a lot more zestful. Age is not slowing me down. Guess I won't be slowed down until I am what, 60 maybe 65? That is if I live way past 50. For now, I have a long journey to explore, more things to learn and discover. Okay got to go get some rest now. Until my next post, this is CK, 3 hours before he is 19. Hahahaha....

What is the best thing to do on a bright Sunday morning? The question that I kept asking myself... I was thinking of a fishing trip, dad gave the nod but then I feel that it's a wee bit boring and finally I decided to just stay at home and rot. As you guys know, I had just recently met with an accident but before that, I needed dad's help to actually show me the way to this hill top Thai restaurant somewhere in Teluk Kumbar. Anyway, since that accident, I didn't really mentioned anything about it but I seriously need help, maybe a map or better if a tour guide to show me the way there.

Sigh... it may be old skool, but I have to drag Mrs. Ong in. Hahaha. I made mum ask dad to bring us there. Hehehehe... From the look of his face, he seemed reluctant but I don't care. No matter what it takes, I just need to know the way there. Hmm, it was about 11 something if I am not mistaken and we set journey to locate this hill top Thai restaurant. To my surprise, cheh... it was not so hard to locate that place. I passed by that area a couple of times already, just that I didn't notice the signboard. And YES, there is a signboard, "Bukit Genting Hill Leisure Park and Restaurant" this way UP, (1KM).

OMG, to my surprise, the road leading up to that restaurant... it's torturous, to the car I mean. Slowly crawling up that hill, I was so afraid something might happen to a car, one scratch and geezzz, dad is going to screw me first for coming up with the idea and mum second for supporting me. Slowly crawling up at slow speed (not because the car couldn't handle it), it reminds me of my trip to Fruit Farm in Teluk Bahang. You can see nutmeg trees and some durian and chempedak trees as usual. The whole climb took about 5 minutes or so.

The moment I reach the top of the hill, or should I say the restaurant, I was like... YEAH... !!! I made it. Hahaha. Okay, I know how to get here now. We parked the car and came down to have a look at the place. Hmm... I have to say, the environment, the ambience, the serenity... nothing beats it. You just feel relax when you are up there. The air is kinda cool, pollution free? I bet so. The view, one word... SPECTACULAR. Somehow, I don't seem to get the animal sculptures they made and place there. It makes the whole place feel UN-natural despite the purpose is the opposite. Dad made a joke about the animal sculptures, considering they were made kinda thin, Dad said the restaurant didn't feed their "pets"; LOL. Hmm.. he is in good mood until....

Okay, every trip has its ending. We didn't stop for the food. So after spending about half an hour gazing at the splendid view, we drove down the hill again. This is the part where dad starts to lecture again. The road down hill, hmm... one advice, two in fact; Don't drive up here if your brakes are not so effective, better make sure your ABS system is working (for safety purposes) and second, don't drive up here if it's raining or your tires are worn out. So going down was easy, minus all those tricky 180 degrees turning but it took us less time to reach the bottom of the hill. Finally, we head back home.

You may think it seems a bit stupid, considering we drove all the way from Fettes Park to Bukit Genting, but nope its not stupid at all. My birthday is soon and I am planning to head up there to celebrate. Not so for the food, but definitely for the view again. The Proton is ready. I am ready. My friends are ready. Lets pray and hope it doesn't rain this coming Friday.

* fingers crossed *

Hmm... today is a very important day. The due date to hand up the services marketing assignment and... the company law presentation of course. Hehehe... So how did I performed for the presentation??? Hmm.. a lil' overboard but then again, the lecturer and I had developed chemistry and I received a perfect score. Would I agree with his verdict? or Did I deserve to get the perfect score?

Some would say that I am too arrogant, you guys may perceived me as being cocky but I will never agree with any lecturers who assess and give the student a perfect 10 marks. Okay, maybe I am crazy... Yes in my honest opinion, I do deserve to receive the 10 marks. For any of you guys who thinks that I don't deserve or entitled to it, then please comment of the reason why you say so. I am open to comments but please, only constructive comments. Just to add to the post, I was given the authority to ask people questions. Hmm... I love that feeling, love to be in control. HAHAHA... power crazy... obsessed...

Another topic to talk about, CK becomes the joke of the class. How...??? It's all because of the topic promissory estoppel. Why CK? Maybe because I am popular in class? LOL (a bit thick face here, as usual). Nonetheless, I wouldn't mind to be the subject of laughter in class. Everyone is equal in class and that includes me, so if Mr Gandhan can make fun of Sam, of course he can make fun of me. But what was it that bothers me? It seems as if I was okay with it. In fact I was. Just that... errr... I may be single, but I am not in the looking for category. And I quote from my creative friend, Jo who wrote something on the key chain on my bag, "promises to love faithfully"... sounds childish but what she said is true.

Hmm... who was the guy who said that I would be married to "her" in the future? Admit and report yourself now before I find out; LOL; was just joking. So who does this "her" refers to? Is it the same girl that I have mentioned a couple of times in my previous posts? NOPE. Both girls don't even know one another, not related to one another and most importantly, one cannot be compared to the other. With all due respect to "her", I do believe she is attractive in her own way, but there seems to be no chemistry or whatsoever that allows us to even be friends.

Next, I would like to apologize to my very very cute friend, Mei for not being able to attend her party. Anyway, I wish you Happy Birthday and best of luck. May all your weird but funny wishes come true. Hahaha. I dare to write this because I know you wouldn't be reading this also; LOL. Good news, I have come to reach good terms with dad. Ahh... finally. So how did we celebrate? Geez... I am very tired already but out of sudden, he took out his Cordon Bleu. Man, it really wakes you up but it really taste good. Hehehe... Shit, I broke my promise but who cares... Got to go bathe now. Until the next time...

Okay, I have just receive the BEST ang pow from God. That is no bruises or major injuries on my body despite that terrible accident. But I just can help it but to demand for more. There are 2 list, one the tangible wish list for physical goods and object, second the intangible wish list for the non-physical objects or responses.

The TANGIBLE WISH LIST

1. A new bike
2. A scholarship for me to go Oz to further my studies
3. A riding jacket (though i already have one; LOL)
4. A new helmet ( preferably Airoh Mathisse RS [black])
5. DEFINITELY MORE MONEY...

The INTANGIBLE WISH LIST

1. An answer for a question forwarded to someone
   
2. Friends' company on my birthday
3. Become TOP STUDENT in KDU
4. My health and my safety (and that includes her health and safety)
   
5. Get the bike as soon as possible (before dad changes his mind)

I guess you can't find any person that has a thicker face than me already.
Dare I post my wish list here in this blog. Memang thick face. LOL.
Anyway, let's hope they materialize.
*** Cross my fingers ***

It was a very very unlucky day for me. It was raining after the company law class and one of friend offered to fetch me back. So I accepted her kind offer and left my bike at KDU college. Thank you so much for being so kind to fetch me back. However, this is another case of "pungkok gatal". I have never left my bike somewhere else for a night and I was not feeling too good about it; I asked dad to fetch me back to college to ride my bike back. The story continues....

Okay, the rain has stop, but the road were soooo slippery. Knowing that, I rode kinda safely. If I have ridden my bike like any normal day, I wouldn't be sitting in front of my laptop now, blogging about this. The author would have passed away; LOL. Maybe it was pre-determined, maybe it was pre-destined, it could be mere coincidence or it is just pure BAD LUCK. It made me realize and acknowledge Murphy's Law of "Anything that can happen or have a probability of occuring of more than zero, will happen. 3 years of riding on the roads of Penang, I have seen countless accidents, not to say that they were caused by stupid drivers. Sometimes, we do mistakes too, and this time it is my mistake.

3 years of clean record tarnished by a small accident. Okay, maybe it was not minor, but I am glad I escape the whole accident without a scratch, okay... maybe minor ones. I am still in one piece, couldn't ask for more. What about the bike? 3 years of servicing me, it NEVER had a single scratch caused intentionally and now, it has broken it chastity. It has lost it virginity and it's all because of me. Sad...sad...sad... Somehow, there is a joke. Upon the impact of hitting that car, only 2 words came out from my mouth, "Shit happens" and I was expecting some broken bones, maybe ended up in the hospital but none of it materialize. Thank GOD for that. Next I know, the bike was in total damage, the car was okay, no scratches... just the bumper. What was not a joke was in the whole course of the accident, somehow, that very person who always occupies my mind still was in my mind.

I am not gonna blog about how it happen. I have already acknowledge that it was my mistake. But, I would like to share with you guys partly why it happen. Its a deadly word, Ego. As a guy who is obsessed with bikes, I should and would have known that all bikes have their limit, be it a Suzuki GSXR 1300 Hayabusa or a Honda C70. Ego is deadly and it will kill all motorcyclist and bikers if they don't know their limit. Yesterday night, when the accident happen, I believe I have surpassed that limit. Maybe I have grown too mature for the bike, or could I put the blame on the ineffective brakes and skiny tires? I rest my case. Enough is being said. It shall be a thing of the past, but it will always remain in my memory as my FIRST accident.

I apologize to you Dad, it was unintention. I didn't wanted it to happen as much as you did. I know you didn't blame me for it. But please don't give me the silent treatment. I am sorry. That's all I can say. Got to go for class now. Until next time...

Life just kicks in into a very fast pace. Time flies and I am starting to feel that my method of measuring time and due dates using hours and minutes are not working anymore. Argh!!! I am getting crazy... FOUR college assignment (including presentation) to be handed in by next week. Hmm... just great. Thankfully, I am done with 3 of the assignments. Hehehe... so I am not gonna complain.

Company Law. I think I have fallen in love with it. Company Law is just so interesting, and I enjoy reading the notes. Now, you guys may say I am crazy; but I can't explain it either. Somehow, there is this feeling of regret deep inside me. I start to look back in the past when I was still in F5, I could still remember that a few of my teachers had actually encouraged me to take up law after secondary school. Did I take their advice seriously? NOPE. I start to wonder where would I be now if I had taken up law...

Another surprise for me. AMAZINGLY, I did quite "okay" for my AE2 mid term test. Hell, I thought I was going to flunk the test badly since I only knew how to answer part of the paper but 74/100, I am happy and contented with it since I was only expecting to get 50++. This is a fine example for you guys out there. Think POSITIVELY and OPTIMISTICALLY. Don't be like me, I always love to think negatively; LOL. Always keep in mind that it's not OVER until it's REALLY over.

One of my friend recently fell sick. Sigh... it is such a bad news for me. I hope she will recover soon (I think she is okay ade). Don't overwork yourself, don't skip meals... it's unhealthy. Take care of your health as no one is gonna do it for you. Apologies for being such a nag; LOL. Just take my advice and stop being so STUBBORN, okay???

Alright, that's it for now. Sorry for ending so abruptly. Back to my assignments. ONE MORE TO GO.....